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50 Cent Blames His Terrible First Pitch On An Injury Sustained During Masturbation

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During a Reddit AMA. Seriously.


If you haven’t seen 50’s first pitch, which was thrown out before a Mets game a few weeks ago, it is impressively terrible.

If I were guessing how 50’s arm was hurt in a sexually related accident, I would have guessed he tore a ligament throwing too many bills at a stripper. No doubt the rapper has some tendon stress from years of tossing hundreds on stage, especially if his mechanics aren’t great.

It’s actually pretty clear the rapper was joking, and since jokes about masturbation entertain me endlessly, I find this hilarious, and now enjoy 50 Cent even more. From now on I’m blaming all injuries on jerking off. Though, to be fair, I work at a desk all day, so masturbation is usually my most rigorous physical activity, and thus already the most likely way I’ll injure myself, especially if I can’t reach the blade I use to cut through the belt when I start getting too lightheaded.

h/t SBNation

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