NEW TFM Videos Section

Watch thousands of hilarious videos from college campuses across the country.

Watch Now

6 Things She’s Really Thinking When She Takes Your Pants Off, From A Girl

======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== ======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ====


1. How Do I Do This Sexily?

Sorry, but I doubt you’re ever going to find a girl who can successfully pull down your zipper with her teeth. Half the time we can’t even figure out how to pull down your boxers without having your dick spring up and hit you in the stomach. Honestly, you’re going to just have to be happy with the fact that she’s taking your dick out in the first place, unless you were seeking an over-the-pants handjob to remind you of the eighth grade glory days.

2. Thank God It’s Not Tiny

No offense to dudes who’ve got a little guy down there. It happens, and it’s not your fault. And, in reality, having a small dick isn’t the worst thing in the world. Sure, you’re never going to feel adequate compared to the dudes you see in porn, but you can actually do so much more with a smaller cock. Seriously, it’s so much easier to get a girl to be down for anal, deep-throating, or whatever when you have a dick that won’t severely injure her.

Regardless, just like you’re not hyped to see a tiny pair of tits, no girl is exactly excited to see a small dick. Unless she really sucks at giving head due to her over-active gag reflex, then maybe she’ll be happy.

3. Wait… What Is That?

If a girl hasn’t seen tons of dicks in her life (aka she’s a freshman or just got out of a relationship), she may have questions about that weird line on your dick or why you’ve got an ungodly amount of pre-cum. Fear not, most girls will probably be too busy planning their next move to be studying your dick like it’s the missing link. They know that there’s weird shit going on around their pussy, so they prob won’t be too quick to judge the weird mole on your nuts.

The only thing that might weird a girl out is if you’re uncircumcised. I mean, sorry, but I thought this was America. If your parents decided that they didn’t want to chop off a bit of your manhood when you were born, that’s cool. Your dong just has a turtleneck. If a girl is staring at your wang like it’s an escaped turtle from the zoo, just pull down the foreskin for her and assure her it’s just like the 67 other penises she’s sucked.

4. Do I Feel Like Sucking It?

If she wants to hook up again, she’ll probably suck your dick. But even the overzealous dick sucker occasionally ponders if she really feels like swallowing a cock that night, especially if she’s had 10 shots and two slices of pizza and kinda just wants to fuck and pass out.

5. How Nice Of Him To Manscape

If you make sure to trim the pube forest before you go out for the night, kudos to you. You’ll probably get your dick and/or balls sucked more often because of it. Seriously, taking a razor to your pubes is not just for chicks anymore. Nothing kills a hot, sloppy blowjob like getting a curly black hair stuck in your teeth. Trust me.

6. I Guess I’ll Suck It

It was definitely the manscaping that convinced her. Or maybe she likes your dick and wants to see you again. There’s also a good chance that the fact that you purchased her the aforementioned two slices of pizza had something to do with it. Enjoy!

Email this to a friend

26 Comments You must log in to comment, or create an account
Show Comments

Download Our App

Take TFM with you. Get

The Feed