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These 7 Ideas “For Having Fun On Weekends Without Drinking” Would Be Way More Fun While Drunk

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drinking college alcohol

Not everyone drinks in college. I get that, and would certainly never shame someone for making that choice. But I think it’s pretty common knowledge that college students who drink have more fun and get their tuition’s worth to a greater extent than do sober college students.

Recently, an article was posted on Study Breaks that discussed the notion of having fun on weekends as a college student without the aid of alcohol. They came up with seven activities that you can do instead of hitting the bottle. Their idea of fun activities is pretty much what you’d expect: things that would be a million times better with a few shots of Fireball in you.

Let’s break this shit down:

Have a sober dance party

That sounds awful. Just thinking about it brings me back to middle school dances when I was hiding in the corner, spending all my time shit-talking that little prick Tommy about how trash his Little League team was because I was too shy to talk to girls.

I’m all for making a fool of myself, just after I rip a few shots. This may surprise you all, but as your average, lanky white boy, I wasn’t blessed with the greatest of dancing abilities. I don’t have what it takes to go out there and groove without the proper (liquid) encouragement. Anyone who does? They’re just an asshole. Quit showing off your superior confidence.

Show your friends your favorite movie or TV show

Oh, something that 100% of people are already doing? Sober or drunk, either way I am texting the boys when there is a killer new series on the Flix. This isn’t some revelation that sober people have just discovered.

Furthermore, there are some shows that just can’t be enjoyed sober. Much like how festival girls can’t vibe out without a pill, I can’t enjoy Dude, Where’s My Car? for the thousandth time without an altered mindset.

Bake some comfort food

One of the most charming parts of college is just how lowly we live. Pizza and beer, everyday. Aside from drunkenly burning late night pizza rolls, college kids shouldn’t be in the culinary game. Making food is just a waste of time in the on-the-go schedule of a college kid.

Now, having a lady friend attempt to make me brownies at 3 a.m. after a bottle of wine? That’s something I’ll pay the price of admission for.

Explore the campus

Unless you’re a wide-eyed freshman, this sounds like the dorkiest idea of all time. Even if you are new on campus, there’s so such more to college than academic buildings and below-average dining halls.

But if you’re going to explore the campus, doing so while drunk is the play. Climbing on monuments and taking funny pictures is an all-time move. These students had the right idea.

Go stargazing

There’s nothing like spending precious weekend hours looking at the stars. You know, those things that are in the sky EVERY OTHER NIGHT. Quick, spend your Saturday night checking them out before they disappear. A fun compliment to stargazing is the ever popular sungazing. You just look into the sun for hours. Go ahead, try it. The only caveat wherein stargazing is acceptable is when you’re playing the underrated “take a shot every time you see a shooting star” game.

Have a quiet night in

College is only a few short years. I don’t need to explain why you shouldn’t waste that time away spending quiet nights in.

Go to a party and don’t drink

This one is my favorite. It’s the equivalent of “go to an orgy and don’t have sex.” What a ridiculous notion. Putting someone who doesn’t drink in the middle of a rowdy party is the equivalent of putting an entitled city boy like me out in the wilderness and saying “figure it out.” It’s just not going to go well.

[via Study Breaks]

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Dent is a washed up former athlete who swears he's totally over his ex-girlfriend. One of these days he'll get around to applying to a real job, but until then he'll keep pumping out lackluster articles while downing copious amounts of Natty Light.

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