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Now, I’m a simple man. I enjoy rail liquor, grilled cheese sandwiches, and a nice, cool glass of Mark Steffenhagen.
Mark Steffenhagen, he’s TFTC.
There are, however, situations that call for a little more class, a little more style, alittle more panache, if you will. Think back to Spongebob. Bottom-tier Squidward wasn’t able to one-up fratdaddy Squilliam Fancyson by playing his lame-ass clarinet. No, he had to conduct the Bikini Bottom Band as they performed rock anthem “Sweet Victory” to a sellout crowd at the Bubble Bowl. Sure, Squidward didn’t really do anything, and it was mostly because of Spongebob that the band kicked ass. That doesn’t matter, though, because Squidward looked like he was doing a good job, and that shut Squilliam up.
A more relatable situation may be the IFC Golf Tournament. You aren’t gonna one-up your fraternity row competitors with your Wilson Pro Staff irons. You just won’t. Appearance is everything, and Japanese golf manufacturer Honma knows this all too well.
If it’s time to retire that old set of clubs, Honma, a high-end Japanese manufacturer of golf gear, has quite the proposition: A bag’s worth of clubs (14 in all — woods, irons and more) from its top-of-the-line “five star” series. And it indeed comes with that top-of-the-line $75,000 price — or the same amount as the initiation fee into many good country clubs.
I agree with Honma’s bold marketing strategy. Why join an expensive country club when most of the other members will be as rich as you? Then who will appreciate your $75,000 golf clubs made with platinum and gold? I’d prefer dropping by the local municipal executive course and showing the plebeians who’s boss.
You whip these puppies out at the IFC Golf Tourney and your competition will know you mean business. No matter the outcome of your round, everybody will know you’ve won. Make sure you order eight weeks in advance, though, because each set of clubs is made to order.
If you’re expecting to drop seventy-five large on these clubs and then instantly be good at golf, you’re mistaken. Chris Lannom, an American Honma distributor, had this to say about the set:
“A lot of it is status … Players might be a 25 handicap, but if they have these clubs, they show up looking good.”
This guy gets it. Who cares if you shoot a 97? If your clubs cost a thousand times as much as your opponent’s score, they can’t say shit.