Is there a more satisfying entree in this world than a well-crafted steak? The answer is no. If you answered anything but “no,” I kindly request you stop reading this. I don’t want the people looking over your shoulder to associate your ridiculous opinions with my good name. Read one of Jared’s articles instead; he doesn’t have friends or a name to uphold, so it’s cool.
If you’re still with me, it’s because you share my love for that delectable meat, and I admire you for that. Now, as steak lovers, we often feel as though nobody can prepare and cook a steak better than ourselves. It’s true. And with that sense of false confidence comes the idea that there isn’t a steak you can’t turn into a masterpiece. That’s exactly what I believe went through the heads of these New York Jets fans as they attempted to grill this 96-ounce steak on their shitty Walmart grill.
— Darren Rovell (@darrenrovell) November 29, 2015
Where they even acquired that thing from is beyond me. That’s not your average fork-and-knife slab of beef. Anything less than a trident and machete, and you’re up shit creek. Hardhats must be worn at all times. Best of luck.
I’m sure there are a few of you milling around here that enjoy nothing more than a slight sear on either side. If you identify as a member of that subsection, this is your wheelhouse. You’re likely waistbanding that erection right now. Forget that the very center of that thing is likely still thawing, that is one of the purest rares you’ll ever lay eyes on..