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A Message for Our Newest Brothers

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You fucking did it. For the past 10-16 weeks you’ve accepted every challenge, put up with the heaping hordes of bullshit, and stayed strong with your pledge class. When the times got tough, you pledges came together through the adversity, and became the exact kind of lifelong brothers we try to breed.

I truly find myself feeling proud of every pledge class that has completed their tasks across the country. I can only hope that you all got the full force of the messages and lessons we tried to convey. As I’m sure you’ve been told countless times, the pledge process is in place to build brotherhood, and the more time you put in the more exponential your rewards will be. Now, you might expect me to apologize for the way some of you were treated this semester. Not a fucking chance. Every single time one of you was torn a new asshole, you deserved it. I saw some of you come in with the cockiest attitudes and frankly you needed to be put in line. If it wasn’t for us, you would still be an arrogant little freshman prick running around acting like you run the place. We fixed you. You’re welcome.

So where do we go from here? Wherever the fuck you want, my new brothers. The next 3 ½-7 years will be some of the most enlightening and eventful of your life. And if you thought the fraternity was fun your first semester, it only gets better with each passing day. My advice is to capture every moment, and make sure you always make it your priority to have as much fun as possible. You only get to do this once, and now that the shitty part is over you should definitely capitalize.

We always told you that the harder it gets, the closer you are to being done. Obviously we knew what the fuck we were talking about. That last stretch might have been a bitch, but think back to that moment right as you realized This is it. I’m done. I am a brother. Yes you are my friend, and we couldn’t be more damn proud.

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StuffFratPeopleLike (@StuffFratsLike) is a writer for Total Frat Move, and due to his crippling OCD and functional alcoholism he can only understand and write text when presented in a numbered list format. So you're all jerks for calling him out on it. He is a self described Huguenot, and commands a secret sexual fetish for angry internet comments.

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