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I remember when I finally convinced my mom to take an Uber. She was so skeptical. “What if they’re a murderer,” she said. “What if they rape me,” she said. And to be honest, her skepticism is pretty warranted. Uber is a wild concept. Absolutely bananas in pajamas. We pay people who we don’t know to drive us around. We have no idea who they are, or if they’re good drivers. We legitimately put our lives in their hands and all we have to go by is this arbitrary rating system. Bee tee dubs, I have a perfect 5.0.
But for all the shit we put up with, they put up with way more than we do. Because we may be afraid they could hold us up at gun point, but they KNOW we’re going to be obnoxious drunk schmucks in their car. 11 out of 10 times. Without fail. Screaming at them to pass the aux. Screaming at them for making a wrong turn. Screaming at them to pull over because we’re about to throw up. In the game of cat and mouse that is Uber driver ad Uber rider, Uber driver can do more damage, but Uber passenger is 99.9 percent of the time the primary offender of some social atrocity.
But not this Uber. Not tonight. Tonight, this Uber skated with ’em. Tonight this was the
greatest worst Uber in the world. Dude was getting domed out while giving a ride.
Sidebar – we can’t embed the video, but it’s in the NY Post article. It’s real and it’s spectacular.
From NY POST:
Uber has reportedly suspended a driver after a customer claimed the man was engaged in sex acts with a woman during the “dangerous and inappropriate” trip.
Aner Manuel, of Boston, took to the company’s Facebook page Thursday to complain about a trip where his driver appeared to receive oral sex from a woman.
According to Manuel, he got in the car and noticed there was another person in the front seat even though he did not select UberPool — the option that allows multiple passengers to share a ride.
“As we pulled off the female in the front (who was clearly on drugs) attempted to open the door and could not even sit straight as the vehicle was in motion,” he wrote. “She then began to grope him and grab him.”
Manuel also shared a video which showed the woman caressing and kissing the driver.
“She then proceeded to perform oral sex,” Manuel said. “This was my last straw. I asked the driver to drop me off.”
He claimed that he contacted Uber to complain, but only received a $10 credit.
Maybe we’re asking too much of Uber drivers. Don’t kill me. Don’t rape me. Don’t get your dick sucked by some thot who’s riding gun with you while you pick people up. You know, simple common decencies. But I don’t think you can get mad at Uber for only giving you a $10 credit. I mean, how do you assign a value to a free peep show? Normally you’d have to pay to see that shit, all the free porn money can buy. So how is Uber supposed to figure out how much to pay you for the emotional hardship you undertook in seeing some stoney bologna Uber driver poking some girls uvula with his purple helmet warrior.
Take your $10, enjoy the peep show, maybe whip your dick out and turn it into a little GWW Bangbros scene. Ubers Gone Wild. UberDrivers Do Porn. Exploited Uber Girls. Front Seat Casting Couch.
But seriously, I’m wrapping my brain around this and I’m bamboozled. If this was me, a) I don’t think I complain, I just would blog about it. 2) If I did complain, I wouldn’t expect any compensation, d) if I was compensated any more than $20 I would be absolutely stunned. OMG so you saw a little blow jibber, that’s worth a few hundy bingo dingo in Uber credits? Fuck outta here, man. Most Uber rides are boring AF, woe is you who got a free show..
[via NY POST]
Image via Shutterstock