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The headline really says it all. Sometimes the truth is simply funnier than the subsequent commentary on it. Still, let’s give it a shot.
Alabama State Senator and ridiculously named human being Shadrack McGill, seriously that sounds like some sort of elder antagonist character from a The Hills Have Eyes movie, had a bit of an awkward encounter during his campaign when a couple of strippers ended up on his doorstep.
“During the campaign, we had two strippers come to my house at 1 o’clock in the morning,” Sen. McGill said. He said the women were beating on the door.
“Me and my wife both got up to address the situation. They did inform me that they were strippers at a particular club in Huntsville,” Sen. McGill said. He declined to name the women’s place of employment, or to speculate about why the women came to his door. (He did, jokingly, say they were there due to “car trouble.”)
Apparently Senator McGill has also been harassed by morally loose women via email. His wife, Heather McGill, has had enough! She took to the Senator’s Facebook to voice her frustration with the situation and make it clear that ole Shadrack is a one woman man, though she doesn’t seem to acknowledge that his name does make him sound like he’s some sort of creepy Mormon polygamist impregnating twenty of his cousin-wives in a Utah cave. See, I think that’s where these women got confused about Shadrack’s relationship status. It’s also worth pointing out that there’s no way a Republican Senator with THAT mustache doesn’t love strippers.
Regardless, here’s Heather McGill’s post:
How have they not unfriended these strippers already? That is some serious Christian tolerance. Turning the other cheek applies to tit pics too, apparently. Here’s hoping the situation doesn’t resolve itself any time soon, not because I don’t want the McGill’s marriage to last, I wish them all the best, but rather because this is hilarious and also I want more chances to make fun of the name Shadrack. I am aware that it is a name from the Bible, specifically from the Book of Daniel, but that doesn’t make it any less creepy or funny sounding. More so, actually. Babylonian names are the creepiest in the Bible by far, and that’s just a fact.
Also, this is how Urban Dictionary defines Shadrack, so there’s that.
Located in the depths of a vastly improving gmail server Shadrack is a place where men go to become girls. A place where Yeti’s and people with penis arms can feel comfortable. A venue where got’ems are plentiful and taints are always allowed. Shadrack has little to no historical relevance because as we all know it is made up of a group of young citizens that are historically challenged. With a population of about a bakers dozen it’s considered one of the largest crews of sweet dudes that used to run and often speak of comebacks. Admission to Shadrack is a honor bestowed upon only the very sweetest or anyone that can handle getting 300 emails a day.
No, I didn’t write that myself, but I can understand how you would think that.