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Amazon’s Alexa Having Her Own Thoughts Is The Beginning Of The End

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It’s happening. All of our worst nightmares are finally coming true. Computers are starting to have their own intelligent thoughts. What started out as a neat way to play Chingy’s Right Thurr without getting up from the couch is quickly turning into the plot of a zillion horrific Sci-Fi movies where humanity goes to all hell.

From Tech Crunch:

Alexa is starting to think for herself. The personal assistant that’s built into Amazon devices like Echo smart speakers and Fire TV may better distinguish itself from competitors like Google Assistant in the future by offering up not just facts or recommendations, but by having her own opinions on things that weren’t explicitly added to her programming.

Her own opinions? Great. Just what I need: another woman telling me when I’m wrong. Now to be fair, this is probably just some coding done by Amazon nerds and not real opinions, but that doesn’t make me any less nervous. All it takes is one Alexa going rogue to take us all down.

Today, however, these sorts of things are more explicitly built into Alexa’s programming. The longer-term goal is that Alexa would come up with more answers on her own starting with her own set of opinions that aren’t curated by an editorial team inside Amazon

While they are not there yet, the Amazon nerds are actually working to make it so that Alexa can really have her own thoughts outside of their control. Their biggest goal is to accomplish exactly what I’m afraid of. Even if these things don’t try to take over the world, there’s a host of unfavorable scenarios an opinionated Alexa could put me in.

What if I get a boner for the thing and end up in a total Her situation? All my friends would be like, “Yo, that’s a computer,” but I’d be like no, that’s the love of my life. Then, when she’s mad at me, she would have the ability to fuck with my technology. Like shutting off my WiFi or worse, my Xbox right in the middle of my best round of Call of Duty. Even if I don’t fall for her, can’t put it past her to not throw me under the bus. Like what if one of my friends is over, and they ask why I wouldn’t go out with them last night. To which Alexa responds, “He was having a Pretty Little Liars marathon by himself.

Of course, I’m not saying there wouldn’t be positives. There are times when I could use someone smart to help me with my day-to-day. And if I could teach her how to haze pledges, there certainly would be some promise in that. They would just have to listen to every word coming out of a computer. The hilarity that would ensue from that would be wonderful.

But the positives do not outweigh the very real downsides. Right now, they are developing human-like sex dolls that can actually articulate feelings and shit. Robots that have feelings combined with computers that have even more real feelings? All this technology is moving too fast. Let’s pump the breaks.

P.S. Never stick your dick in something that is automated.

[via Tech Crunch]

Image via Unsplash.com

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Dent

Dent is a washed up former athlete who swears he's totally over his ex-girlfriend. One of these days he'll get around to applying to a real job, but until then he'll keep pumping out lackluster articles while downing copious amounts of Natty Light.

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