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A huge breakthrough has just been made in the #ButtStuff2016 movement. According to a recent worldwide study, American broads are more likely to achieve orgasm via poop chute than women from any other country. Shove that up your ass, commies.
Let’s holster the “What? Female orgasms exist?” joke for a moment and pat ourselves on the back. Job well done, boys. The first step towards achieving a butt stuff orgasm is to convince a lady to let you stick it in there. That means our long, shitty battle against vaginal privilege — the #Buttstuff movement — is finally paying off. America is sitting on the throne of the Hiney-Hole kingdom.
This also means that not only do we stick it in her chocolate starfish more, we do it better. The rest of the study is chock-full of other information on female orgasms (we munch the best box, too) but I could care less about any of that right now. Today is a day about progress.
I’m proud to be an American,
Where inside her butt I’ll be.
And I’m proud to say there’s sperm that died,
To give that right to me.