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An Ode To Fraternity & America

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An Ode To Fraternity & America

“But if you really think about it, perhaps we would be happier in cozy Germany or France, where there is a socialist-type government to catch us, than in the wide-open, free-fall United States.”

Those words come from Thomas Geohegan, the author of a book with the tagline ‘How the European Model Can Help You Get a Life.’ From reading his book and the quote above, you might assume that Geohegan is some type of European out to convert Americans into socialist pussies.

Yet, Geohegan, much like his America-hating counterparts, are United States citizens. As Americans, we may disagree on politics, but at the end of the day, we should all be able to agree that there’s no greater place in the world than our own country.

Too many people have an erroneous infatuation with a European socialist model and lose sight of the values that not only created this country, but helped it become a world leader. Change is sometimes necessary, but this doesn’t mean you should change the very values that define our national identity.

I simply cannot understand how such a pompous asshole could deny that his home country is the best in the world. The horrible truth is that these dirty bastards are everywhere, crawling around like little vagina roaches trying to impregnate any frail mind with their fucked-up values.

What makes the United States so successful are these values and traditions of freedom, hard work and excellence that this nation was built on. In moving forward, we can’t simply change who we are because of some flashy new way of living in Europe or the sake of change itself. Plus, if the now three-year old Euro Crisis is any indicator of the durability of a ‘European model’, I think we made the right choice.

A lot of liberals embrace this gator-shit because they are scared that they will appear conservative or old-fashioned. Yet these traditions and values persist for a reason. When Paul Sperry sewed a few cuts of leather and rubber together in 1935, he made a shoe, sure, but he also defined a standard of excellence. Well guess what? We still wear them today and we love them because they are utilitarian and they look fucking great. My message to Liberals: don’t oust something old that works for something new. How would you fuckers like it if Sperry decided to start making Crocs 10 years ago because “they were the new thing”? You wouldn’t, that’s how you would like it.

There’s no better way to understand this conflict than through Greek life. GDIs, much like these liberals fascinated with change, criticize Fraternity brothers for their adherence to tradition. Yet, what they don’t understand is that this tradition is more than hazing or parties, it’s a way of becoming hard-working, productive gentlemen. We take pride in who we are, our family, our fraternities and what each of these institutions stand for. Similarly, we take pride in our nation and the values that have made it the strongest and greatest nation on God’s green Earth.

Everyone should take pride in who they are and where they come from. To quote South Park, “if you don’t like America, then you can get out,” then promptly eat my 20-year rotten foreskin. Sorry about the imagery. I feel strongly about this subject.


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