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Angry Father Swinging A Chain At Daughter’s High School: “Who’s f*cking my daughter?”

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This guy was already up for New York City’s Father of the Year award before this stunt, but all other nominees have submitted their concessions after hearing today’s news.

In response to his daughter’s rebellious teenage behavior, Michael Canaii, 35, showed up to her high school swinging a heavy chain with a padlock, demanding to speak with the principal, and threatening to take out anyone who stepped in his way. The episode climaxed when Canaii yelled out to his daughter’s schoolmates, “Who’s fucking my daughter?” and challenging everyone to a fight. To me, it’s surprising that no one stepped up to fight him, because who wouldn’t volunteer for some fisticuffs with a huge, deranged man wielding a chain?

“He was yelling and complaining that his daughter was smoking weed and not listening to him, and he wanted the school to do something about that,” said a law-enforcement source.

I totally get that. This is totally the standard response to a misbehaving teen.

The hulking Canaii, who was wearing all black, also insisted on talking to his daughter when he first showed up at the school at about 9 a.m.

“A man was outside with a chain. He was saying, ‘Where is my daughter?’” said a student. “He was swinging the chain saying, ‘I’m going to f–k you all up.’ One guy said something sly, and he took off after the guy and ran into the school.”

He’s got one of those MY DAUGHTER IS AN HONOR STUDENT-style bumper stickers on his car, but instead of the standard text, it says, “I don’t know what kind of grades my daughter is making in school, but I know one of you is fucking her. Now who is it?”

“He’s a decent father,” said Canaii’s aunt, Sondra Williams.

No he’s not, Sondra. No, he’s not.



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Dillon Cheverere

Dillon Cheverere (@DCheverere) is the Vice President of Media for Grandex, Inc. Email:

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