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Are Adidas “Oktoberfest” Beer-And-Puke-Proof Shoes The Kicks Of The Fall?

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Every year, October encroaches further on September, saturating the ninth month with its spill-over pumpkin and beer obsession. Predictably, not long after Labor Day, white people begin rediscovering their obsession with pumpkin spice and heavy beers, and once again poorly emulate German culture by getting wasted in lederhosen, while standing on tabletops and belting off-key renditions of Ramstein songs.

While it’s not unusual for companies to cash in on our fixation with fall weather and beer, Adidas thinks they’ve come up with a pretty good idea to milk the October cow even more: tennis shoes resistant to beer and barf. Du hast to be kidding me.

From Cool Material:

The adidas München “Oktoberfest,” the latest iteration of the popular München reissue, was purpose built for the beer festival to end all beer festivals with premium materials and a special DPBR coating. The DPBR stands for durable puke and beer repellent, which sounds like it’s exactly what is needed in a pair of kicks you’re going to be wearing around Munich during Oktoberfest.

This pair of kicks isn’t cheap. It’ll run you an exorbitant $240, and it seems more gimmicky (like Gucci flip-flops) than born out of actual utility. Moreover, who really wants to test Adidas’ assertion that these lavish shoes are, indeed, party proof?

These shoes also have rich embroidery to match your lederhosen, an inner lining in a red/white micro-check that mirrors the tablecloths and PROST (German for “cheers”) emblazoned in gold on the side next to the contrasting three stripes. The shoes lace up with speckled laces that are the perfect finishing touch on a comfortable pair of shoes that look great and will also protect you from standard beer fest calamities.

Here’s the kicker: Not only is this idea stupid, it’s not in the least bit original. Anyone hear of Sperry? Costing about a third of the price, they are guaranteed to survive any month-long beer drinking fest. That really lasts five and a half years. In a frat house basement. During a category four hurricane. Hell, you’ll give up partying long before your boat shoes will.

Sure, some clueless trust fund dildos will shell out for this vogue brand of footwear, probably after some attention-whoring Instagrammers begin touting these sneakers as the preeminent choice for all your outdoor autumn drinking, but anyone with more common sense than zeros in his/her bank account will pass on this transparent, ill-conceived idea, seeing it for what it is: another shameless attempt to squeeze a little more money out of white people’s October obsession.

[via Cool Material]

Image via YouTube

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Kramer Smash

Unabashed Pitt alum with an affinity for brown girls and Manhattans. Send lovelies to kraysmash@gmail.com

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