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Over the weekend, Blake Johnson, the nation’s 2nd best punting recruit who committed to Arkansas, got piss drunk. During his drunken stupor, he had to drain the main vein and did so on the first thing he saw: a light pole. Like a dog. Unfortunately for Blake, the police caught a glimpse of him and arrested him on the spot for public intoxication, minor in possession, and disorderly conduct.
From 5 News Online:
According to a police report, Johnson was found urinating on a light pole in a university parking lot at 1:39 a.m. by an officer. When the officer approached him and asked why he was urinating on the light pole, he responded “because I needed to go.”
A+ answer by Johnson, here. When you’re drunk, and the seal has been broken, you don’t have much time to run through the possible places that society deems acceptable for you to piss. It’s that type of quick thinking that separates the seasoned drinkers from the amateurs.
We don’t wait for long lines to the bathroom. If the sink is open, you piss in the sink. Open trash can? You bet. A bush outside? It just needs a little water. A girl’s butt? Even better. All I’m saying is that Blake had to go, and that light pole was destined for a little pee. You can’t fault the man for that.
What makes this story even better is that Johnson was so drunk that he told officers he was coming from Riverside, CA (where he is from) when they asked where he had been that night. Johnson is already making a strong case for being my favorite punter of all-time..
[via 5 News Online]