I hate people who take shortcuts to success. “Oh, you bought a bunch of Bitcoin when you were stoned a few years ago and now you’re an over-night millionaire? Go fuck yourself.” “Oh, you made a Super Bowl bet with Genie Bouchard and now you guys are like a will they won’t they internet saga? Go jump off a bridge.” My hatred towards this overnight success, though, is purely driven by jealousy. Like, why the fuck didn’t I think of this when I had the chance type of jealousy.
So do I hate this Columbia University frat dude for putting up these obnoxious flyers to score himself a date and wound up with a model? Hundo P of course I hate him (unlike TFM’s Doctor Franzia). Respect he hell out of him for serving our nation, but come on man, you can’t be out here playing chess when the rest of us are sitting on the couch swiping endlessly on Bumble, hoping a model accidentally thinks we’re a lot
hotter/cooler/bigger/better/faster/stronger richer than we really are.
But here’s Ned, the 28-year-old American hero and Ivy Leaguer out here trying to cut corners. Where I come from, you end up dating a model the old-fashioned way: by being famous or stupid rich and those are your only two options. But here’s Ned, shaking things up.
Per NY Post:
A frat bro posted flyers around Manhattan seeking the perfect formal date — and ended up meeting a model.
It all started two weeks ago when Ned, a 28-year-old Columbia junior, realized he needed a date for his frat’s winter formal on Dec. 14.
“I wasn’t talking to any girls and I’ve been studying all semester trying to make grades,” Ned, who declined to disclose his last name for professional reasons, tells The Post.
And the former Army Ranger was sick of dating apps.
“I feel like Tinder is based so much based on pictures, and you’re not given a fair shot . . . I don’t think it was good for my self-esteem,” he says.
So with the help of a classmate, he created a tongue-in-cheek flier looking for a “photogenic” and “not ratchet” date. On the poster, he describes himself as “slightly endowed with a big heart” and “PTSD free,” offers a “complimentary Uber ride home” and lists his Instagram handle.
Ned posted the fliers in Soho and the West Village that were close to modeling agencies and boutique gym studios.
One week later, Ned’s eccentric ad caught the eye of Anna Besedina, a 25-year-old model. She was sitting in her apartment in Fort Lee, NJ, when a friend sent her a photo of Ned’s flier.
“I just thought it was one of the funniest things I’ve seen,” Besedina tells The Post. “Who would do something this ridiculous? I had to find out more about him.”
Plus, Besedina, who got her associate’s degree at Bergen Community College, had never been to a college formal before. “This was the best way to do it,” she says.
She reached out to Ned on Instagram, and the two decided to meet before the formal at a bar near Ned’s fraternity.
Ned was not disappointed when she walked in.
“I thought, ‘Oh, s - - t, she’s attractive’ — [and] sort of out of my league, which is the story of my life,” Ned says. His frat bros were similarly impressed, he adds.
Besedina wasn’t let down, either. “He has a good sense of humor and he’s just so easy to talk to,” she says.
His flyer? Obnoxious. The only thing more obnoxious than the flyer is his mustache. (Respectfully, of course. Thank you for your service).