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Best Of: Fratty Bird Customer Reviews

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Fratty Bird exploded onto the scene last week. It picked up more than 100,000 downloads and logged more than 3 million games played in the first two days of being available to the public. It’s been received pretty well thus far–there’s just something about that smug little bird, haphazardly cruising through Greek Row. The total number of downloads is currently up to 149,318. That’s 149,318 assholes with iPhones, Internet access, and the opportunity to share their thoughts about our new app. Of those 149,318 assholes, only 151 felt inclined to leave reviews in the iTunes App Store.

The overall tone of the reviews has been positive, thankfully (and surprisingly, if we’re being honest). Of the 151 reviews, these seven are my favorite:

1. Classic TFM humor.

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Nothing like a vintage “would pee” about a G-rated iPhone app to make it abundantly clear the TFM audience is present and accounted for. Throw in a recommendation to make said G-rated app into an R-rated one with some unnecessary nudity, a subtle hazing reference, talks of beer drinking, and mention of fornication, and this is classic TFM humor. It’s also the top review listed. Well done.

2. The guy who likes the game way too much.

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He’s been waiting for Fratty Bird all his life. Imagine his disappointment when Flappy Bird came out and gained such popularity–he downloads it, taps the screen to play for the first time, and realizes the bird is just some GDI bird flying nowhere near a college campus. Blue balls for days. No more, though.

3. The guy who’s confused how reviews work, but doesn’t miss the chance to let us know how frat he is.

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If it helps you maneuver the pillars, hey, let your testicles hang out of your Chubbies. It’s all about getting an edge on your competition.

4. The callout.

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I promise I hate you more. Thanks for the five-star review, nerd.

5. Nostalgia guy.

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This is a great recommendation, honestly. None of us have seen Peaco since November. I miss him. I really just hope he’s doing okay and he’s treating the current occupants of our old office as terribly as he treated us. What a bird, man.

6. The spokesperson.

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We didn’t even pay him to say this–what a hell of an endorsement.

Better alcohol tolerance? ✓
Flowier flow? ✓
Slaying 10s? ✓✓✓✓✓✓✓

All because of Fratty Bird.

7. The not-so-clever shit talker.

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These are the same, lame jokes that appear in every comment section. Where’s the originality, Sam Searcy? SFPL did get a haircut, by the way.

8. Jizz guy.

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Download Fratty Bird NOW and top these reviews.

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Dillon Cheverere

Dillon Cheverere (@DCheverere) is the Vice President of Media for Grandex, Inc. Email:

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