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The Betas at the University of Kansas set up a turkey sideshow at a recent house party that went way too far, incited a police investigation, and as a result has gotten a few folks up-in-arms. According to the Lawrence police department, members of the fraternity caged a turkey, seriously harmed it, then killed it after it’d had enough abuse.
Police said they were called to the Beta Theta Pi frat house at 10:46 p.m. Friday and determined that a turkey had been kept in a cage during a party at the house.
The animal was poked through the cage and heckled during the party, police said. The turkey was eventually let out of the cage, abused by several people at the party, seriously injured and then killed. Police said the person that killed the turkey stated he did it to end its suffering.
“The animal was poked through the cage and heckled during the party, police said.” Heckled? Look, I’m not looking past the physical abuse of the bird. I know that’s bad. Real bad. However, I think the heckling is the part that bothers me most about this story. I mean, what does one even say to a turkey to get under its skin?
“Hey! Nice feathers, asshole!”
“What’s up with that huge thing on your face, pal? Why don’t you get that removed, you ugly ass bird?”
“Oh, what’s wrong, you fuckin’ turkey? You can’t fly very far like most other birds? Is it because you’re too fat and have small ass wings?
I mean come on, guys. I think the poking and eventual execution was hazing enough.
A cruelty to animals case has been opened and will be forwarded to the Douglas County District Attorney’s Office for charging consideration once the investigation is complete, police said.
Leave animals out of it, guys. That’s why we have pledges. Heckle them ’til they cry if you want. Oh, but remember you can’t kill them. It’s frowned upon in the Greek community.