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Blowjobs Could Lead To Cancer, Experts Warn

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NOOOOOOOOOOOO.

A group of “experts” and “doctors” are suggesting that the sex act known as a “blowjob” is quite possibly the culprit of certain mouth cancers. In fact, it could soon surpass smoking as the leading cause of mouth cancer.

If this news isn’t haunting to you now, wait until your significant other breaks this one out as an excuse the next time you’re in the mood for below-the-belt mouth pleasure. What can you possibly say to that?

“What’s the point of life if you aren’t willing to take risks?”

From The Express:

Smoking may not be the leading cause of mouth cancer for much longer, health experts claim.

New research has revealed that human papilloma virus (HPV) passed through oral sex could could be linked to the rise in the deadly disease.

The eye-opening research has been released to coincide with Mouth Cancer Action Month.

Experts have warned mouth cancer is on the rise and the spread of HPV from oral sex could be the main reason.

HPV affects the skin found in areas of the body exposed to moisture – including the mouth, rectum, cervix and throat.

The highly contagious virus is commonly contracted through unprotected sexual activity.

According to the NHS, over three quarters of sexually active women contract HPV at some time in their lives.

Because the strand of HPV found in the mouth has strong links to sexual activity, experts have warned it is highly likely oral sex could in turn cause mouth cancer.

Doctors also suggest that those who plan to continue engaging in oral sex do so using condoms or other forms of “oral barriers.”

Before drop your head in disgust, I have a story for you. I recently saw this again on Reddit, so it is likely an urban legend. It’s the story of the GoGurt girl.

When I was in college, a group of seniors told us freshmen about the GoGurt girl. Legend has it that the GoGurt girl, a devout christian, loved giving blowjobs to guys but REFUSED to do so unless they were wearing a condom. She practically brought her own condoms to the party anytime she was planning on going down on a guy. She wouldn’t have sex with them, either.

Anyways, this is what would happen: She would suck off a guy while he was wearing a condom. Then, after he finished, she would carefully remove the condom without breaking it and slurp out the “remains” — like a GoGurt — before discarding the condom and going on about her business.

I’m not sure if this method would work as a cancer deterrent, but it’s possible, I guess. Actually, it probably 100 percent wouldn’t work, but it was worth telling the story. The legend will live on now. I have done my part.

But, yeah, cancer is awful. Blowjobs are great. What happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object? This analogy doesn’t actually work here but what I’m getting at is — please don’t take blowjobs away from us, cancer. We would really appreciate it.

[via Express]

Image via YouTube

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SteveHolt

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