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Bouncer At University Of Maryland Bar Voluntarily Turns Over 24 Fake IDs To Police

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There are unwritten rules about working in a college bar. The biggest of those is your duty to turn a blind eye to quite a few of the illegal, yet harmless, activities that will undoubtedly occur within your vicinity. Sure, confiscate the fake IDs and sell them back if you’re a true asshole, but you are to NEVER voluntarily hand them over to law enforcement.

Well, some dickbag in Maryland was never informed of these unwritten rules, and now 24 University of Maryland students are possibly staring down the barrel of a university judicial board. The students’ only crime being their unfortunate luck of interacting with the nation’s shittiest campus bar employee — and an illegal fake ID.

From The Diamondback:

University of Maryland Police are working with the Office of Student Conduct and a College Park bar to crack down on the use of fake IDs.

This partnership was formed incidentally, said David Lloyd, University Police’s chief of staff. While speaking to University Police about an unrelated incident in mid-August, an employee at a College Park bar voluntarily gave police a 4-inch stack of fake IDs, he said.

“We weren’t sure what to do with [the IDs] at first,” Lloyd said. “Then we decided we’d pass that information off to the Office of Student Conduct.”

University Police gave the IDs to the Office of Student Conduct on Sept. 13.

There were 57 IDs in total — 14 of which were deemed valid and returned to their respective states — said Mathew Shepard, an Office of Student Conduct coordinator. Twenty-four of the IDs belonged to current students.

Even the cops didn’t know how to handle it when the shitbag voluntarily gave them a stack of IDs, virtually ensuring a pending onslaught of university sanctions.

Should the students accept responsibility and play the university’s game, they’ll essentially be given a slap on the wrist and a lot of useless knowledge in regards to underage drinking. Should they fight it, their case is sent to a university judicial board.

Of the 24 current students involved, first-time offenders — if they accept responsibility for the fake ID — will receive a written warning and an educational sanction involving a reflection paper, Goodwin said.

These students will also learn about the consequences of having a fake ID and the dangers of underage drinking, Goodwin added. The Office of Student Conduct sent notices to all current students involved — even if they are now 21 or older.

What a load of shit. Fake IDs are a major aspect of every social human’s college experiment. This story brings back so many memories. So many questions.

How exactly will it arrive from China? Will it arrive hidden in a teddy bear or between a pair of chopsticks? Which site hasn’t been shut down yet? Will the bar try to scan my ID? Shit, I forgot to memorize my new address.

It’s all a part of the road to 21, and these assholes are just determined to ruin it.

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[via The Diamondback]

Image via YouTube

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Bogey Wells

Bogey Wells is a Senior Freelance Writer for TFM News and a former summer pledge intern at TFMHQ. His Spotify playlists are pure garbage. Email:

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