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British Cyclist Wins Gold, Gets Blind Drunk

I think I found a non-American Olympian I can get behind. Britain’s Bradley Wiggins won gold in cycling on Wednesday, his seventh, making him the most decorated British Olympian of all time. Wiggins won the Tour De France in July and chose to bypass the customary champagne ritual. He would save his sobriety and simultaneously preserve his temporary weak alcohol tolerance, and he did it so he could ruin it all in grand fashion, and with a gold medal around his neck. He won. Bender engaged.

“Getting wasted,” he posted on Twitter along with a picture of himself posing with a drink and flashing a V for victory with St. Paul’s Cathedral gleaming in the background.

He didn’t slow down from there.

“Blind drunk at the minute and overwhelmed,” he posted later.

I’ve been mute drunk before. I’ve also been crippled drunk, but never blind drunk. If given the chance to paint the town with ole Wiggy, I’d love to see what it’s like. Wiggins was able to handle his booze for the most part. The same, unfortunately, cannot be said for Australian rower Josh Booth. Booth got ripped on Fosters beer and had to be detained by police after causing damage to a London storefront. He spent the night in the hospital after injuring himself, too. He was not charged.

The scary thing is Booth finished 6th in his race. Just imagine if he took gold like my boy Wiggy. He may have burned London to the ground.

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Dillon Cheverere

Dillon Cheverere (@DCheverere) is the Vice President of Media for Grandex, Inc. Email: dillon@grandex.co

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