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Bud Light Is Releasing Golden Cans That Can Win You Free Super Bowl Tickets For Life, Entire Nation Set To Become Very Drunk

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Giveaway contests used to mean something in this country. Nowadays companies are having them far too often to ever feel meaningful, and the prizes are watered down.

Thanks a lot, Obama.

I’m pretty sure I read somewhere that Donald Trump added ‘make branded giveaway contests great again’ into his first 100 days in office plan. Well, he might not get a wall, but this one could be coming to fruition.

According to the St. Louis Dispatch, Anheuser-Busch is channeling their inner Willy Wonka with a golden ticket-esque contest of their own.

Let Trey Wingo explain.

“Anheuser-Busch, NFL’s official beer sponsor, said Tuesday it’s introducing limited-edition “Strike Gold” Super Bowl-themed packaging. Bud Light customers who find gold Super Bowl 51 cans are eligible to enter to win tickets to attend the Super Bowl each year for the rest of their life, up to 51 years.

Only 37,000 gold 12-ounce cans will be available during the promotion from Nov. 28 through Jan. 13, and consumers can enter to win prizes by posting a photo on social media with the gold can and the hashtags #SBTix4Life and #Sweeps.

A-B said it’ll select six weekly winners for a pair of season tickets to their favorite NFL team, and the Super Bowl tickets for life grand prize will be announced in January.”

The idea of this contest is fantastic. A Super Bowl ticket for the rest of your life is one of those giveaways that giveaways needed to make them relevant again. But there is one major flaw, too many winners.

If only, say, a dozen of these golden cans were made available, Bud Light would become the hottest thing flying off the shelves. That would have caused the biggest manhunt America has seen since the kidnapping of the Lindbergh baby (which, everyone knows, the Kaiser murdered).

That all went out the window once I read that 37,000 of these gold cans will be released. Not only that but the owners of all 37,000 cans are then entered into another contest for a chance to win various prizes, including the grand prize of lifetime Super Bowl tickets. Basically, your golden can could wind up being worth nothing more than the five cents you can get for recycling it. Ten cents in Michigan!

Let’s get this straight: You accomplish the difficult task of finding a golden Bud Light can and then you have to enter another contest just for the CHANCE of being selected between 37,000 other lucky individuals at winning those Super Bowl tickets. Come on, man.

A contest within a contest? If you want to make this a social media campaign then make it a social media campaign. Quit playing games with my heart, Bud Light. I don’t know if I even want to find a golden can now only to be disappointed when I end up winning a koozie as a prize. I just can’t handle that kind of let down.

The security for the Super Bowl is crazy these days. You have to get there something like a day and a half early just to get to your seat in time for kickoff*. That kind of aggravation just isn’t worth it for me.

*Ed. Note: This is accurate. I was at the last Super Bowl. We probably passed at least five Humvees with .50 cals mounted on them on the way to the stadium. It legit seemed like there was an entire Army division guarding the stadium. And getting into the stadium was like an airport the day before Thanksgiving. But I was drunk so it wasn’t so bad. – Rob

I’m out on this contest. Unless I happen to come across one of those golden cans…

Just when I thought I was out, 12 golden ounces pulls me back in.

[Via St. Louis Dispatch]

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If you take everything I've accomplished in my entire life and condense it down into one day, it looks decent!

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