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Having to say “Coca-Cola.” TFM.
Having your girlfriend in your Tinder profile picture. TFM.
Tying her up with laces of your old boat shoes. TFM.
Tying her up with Comfort Colors tees. TFM.
Country club bar, dive bar attitude. TFM.
The only 8 a.m. you get up for is your tee time. TFM.
Not knowing which home your parents are at during any given time. TFM.
Being a dick about it. TFM.
The inability to make responsible decisions because people are chanting your name. TFM.
Extending a bid to the new guy, and extending even more to his sister. TFM.
Believing that wearing a vintage NBA jersey makes you slightly more athletic. TFM.
Referring to your savings account as your slush fund. TFM.