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Celtics 1st Round Pick Commits Multiple Offensive Violations Just To Dunk On Fat Child, Will Be A BUST

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I’m here to proclaim Boston Celtics 2016 1st round draft pick, Jaylen Brown, to be an enormous BUST. Now, he hasn’t played a minute at the TD Garden, and, I’ll admit, I didn’t watch a single Cal basketball game last year or even know of Jaylen Brown’s existence until last Thursday. But I did break down the tape of him going one-on-one with what appears to be the fat kid from Up, and I hate what I saw.


First off, that’s an offensive foul. Clear as day. Jaylen can’t shake this chubster’s gravitational pull, so he pushes off. It’s going the other way every time. If that’s not bad enough, Brown then carries the ball throughout and takes no less than two-hundred steps before throwing it down. I know they’re pretty lax in the NBA when it comes to traveling, but that was an embarrassment to the game.

Finally, Jaylen’s not mentally tough. This interaction started because that exercise ball of a child was just dropping truth bombs down on Brown about my boy Ben Simmons being a superior player.

From Mass Live:

“He challenged me and I just blacked out. He said, ‘You ain’t good.’ He said Ben Simmons (the No. 1 overall draft pick) is better. So I said alright, OK.”

And then Brown crossed the kid over, dribbled by him and slammed home an easy one-handed slam.

If some 4-foot Hispanic cream puff at a children’s summer camp can get in the head of Brown, just imagine what’ll happen when he gets to the actual league.

My draft analysis: BUST.

After a disappointing run with the Celtics, he’ll go overseas for a few years before ultimately working his way to an assistant management position at Foot Locker and slinging the new Ben Simmons. #TrustTheProcess

[via Mass Live]

Image via Youtube

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Dan Regester

Dan Regester @Dan_Regester is a Senior Writer, Podcast Host, and Video Guy for Grandex Media. He's Delco trash to the core and a UCF cinema studies graduate because he never got around to applying to an actual film school. Dan is a gambling man, crypto investor, and procrastinator. He enjoys long walks to the water fountain between bench press sets and is not a fan of the homeless, the elderly, or the Phoenix Airport. Email tips to

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