I’ve never been to California State University, Chico — more commonly referred to as Chico State — but from what I’ve gathered as a citizen of the collegiate landscape these past 5.5 years, it seems like one of the most insane party schools in America. From finding insane bylaw loopholes that only coked out pre-law students could discover, to having fraternity members accidentally discharging firearms inside their own fraternity houses, to throwing the fuck down on Cesar Chavez Weekend, Chico State’s northern California college experience seems to me like a lawless, two-semester-long spring break. Those lucky bastards.
Speaking of guns and Cesar Chavez Weekend, a story that truly must be read to be believed went down recently over there in Cheeks.
From The Orion (side note: I thought this was an Onion piece until I reread the source name):
Shots were fired outside of a fraternity annex house at 1:50 a.m. April 2. There were no injuries reported while two individuals were arrested.
A student who asked not to have his full name disclosed, but is known as “B-watts” by friends in his fraternity, had talked to the shooter previously that night.
“We told them that the party was full and that we would be unable to let them in, and they actually seemed really chill about it and left,” “B-watts” said.
B-watts! Great nickname. I like it so much I might make it my firstborn’s real name. I’d be naming my son after a great fraternity bouncer, too. B-watts isn’t scared to turn people away, which is the most important characteristic of any fraternity bouncer aside from having the ability to ask people whether or not they know anyone associated with the get-together.
A few moments later he noticed a gray minivan driving up to the party.
“I didn’t think anything of it at first,” he said. “Then when they got out of the minivan, I noticed a weird green light on the right side of my shirt. When I looked up, I noticed that the dude was pointing a handgun at me.”
The man, who would later be identified by police as DaQuan J. Bryant, reportedly held the gun in the air and fired three shots before running back into the car and driving off.
A laser sight? What is this, Chico State student housing or the set of Die Hard 6: An Even Better Day To Die Hard Than That Last Day? Terrifying. And how did B-watts react?
“Everyone at the party screamed and dropped to the floor, but I didn’t because I didn’t believe that had just happened,” B-watts said. “I thought they were blanks. Then when the police showed up a few minutes later, they found the bullet shells in the street.”
The police found two men soon after at the 7/11 on Main Street and First Street and took them into custody.
B-watts: never cowering in fear even when the chips are stacked against him. A true fraternity bouncer legend..
[via The Orion]
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