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Chipper Jones Accidentally Starts Forest Fire As Playboy Girlfriend Takes Pictures, Has Had Busy And Awesome Winter

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If you don’t at least passively follow the post-retirement life of former Atlanta Braves third baseman Chipper Jones then you, friends, are missing out. Let’s start with the fact that his day to day life is mostly documented by his smokeshow Playboy model girlfriend Taylor Higgins (known as Lexi Ray in her shoots, feel free to Google) on her Twitter and Instagram feeds.

Chipper Jones + Playboy model is a combination that alone warrants attention. When you consider that most of their antics range from amusing to ridiculous the duo become must watch social media.

Last night Chipper, who recently returned from a Twitter hiatus, admitted to the world that he may or may not have started a forest fire while doing some household chores.

Higgins, meanwhile, snapped a few pictures of the blaze.

Seriously, how many CMT producers would cradle the balls, stroke the shaft, work the pipe, and swallow the gravy to get the Chipper-centric reality show “Keepin’ Up with the Joneses” on air? The answer is “all”.

A week earlier Jones had his wisdom teeth pulled, and when he wasn’t tweeting about how much he loved Percocet, the All Star was passed out, being both nursed and pranked by his girlfriend, who I am pretty much in love with as well at this point.

I can’t wait for this guy’s Hall of Fame speech.

Before all that the couple spent the rest of their late fall and winter doing what Chipper (and Higgins too, she seems supremely awesome) love doing: hunting a whole lot of deer.

Conversely, this past winter I killed a raccoon with my car and masturbated to a Playboy I stole from a gas station while drunk. Goddammit.

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