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Having a hot mom is like rooting for the Cleveland Browns or sleeping with socks on: It’s not exactly something you want to publicize. Ever since the song “Stacy’s Mom” hit the airwaves in the mid-2000s, the scourge of having a coug for a mother was effectively weaponized to song. “[Insert name here]’s mom has got it going on.” If your name was substituted for Stacy’s at any point in your life, it was the worst thing in the world. For a split second, it even made you empathize with the fictional Stacy.
That reminds me of this kid on my freshman year high school football team, who we’ll call Kevin. Kevin’s mom was a certified MILF. Like thumbnail-on-the-front-page-of-Pornhub hot. She was a single mom too, which made it doubly worse for Kevin. Every time she’d come to pick him up from practice, the entire squad hit that familiar melody with a pitch-perfect fierceness like a Fountains of Wayne acapella cover group. “Kevin’s mom has got it going on.” Getting hugs from Kevin’s was the best. It probably wasn’t that great for him though. Unless it was, in which case I hope he was able to work that out in therapy.
Anyway, the point is that if you have a hot mom, you want to keep that shit as under wraps as possible. Which is what makes this Southern Oregon University student’s reply to a school-wide cougar sighting email all the more savage.
Southern Oregon University sent out a warning recently about cougar sightings in the area, urging students to stay safe. But the response they got was definitely not the one intended.
Lauren Devine, a fellow student, saw the email and shared an anonymous student’s quick response to the entirety of the university. The response? “That’s just my mom.”
Wow. That takes guts.
One mother called him “brave:”
I’ll just say what everyone’s thinking: Don’t want, NEED to see a pic of this kid’s mom. For research purposes, of course.
So if anyone out there goes to Southern Oregon University and knows this kid or is really good at investigative journalism, do your civic duty and send us some pics of this so-called cougar. Preferably in slideshow format. .