Earlier this week, I announced that we’d be starting a Commenter of the Week series. I also announced the first winner. We will be running this series every Thursday until I die.
Chosen for his commitment to procuring a photograph of my dick for his own enjoyment, our first Commenter of the Week is CantDriveDixieDown.
Impressive down vote numbers, a sign of someone who’s married to a shtick and doesn’t balk to pander to his audience. Well done.
But also this is just really bizarre behavior that doesn’t even necessarily stand out among the other really bizarre user comments on this site. A true representative of the general sentiment among our readers. And now, a quick Q and A with CantDriveDixieDown.
1. Your comments this past week seem to be solely dedicated to getting a dick pic from me. Why?
I tried to come up with a funny story, but honestly I just want to know if I have a bigger hog than you. My girlfriend’s cousin swears she fucked you a few years ago and says you have a child-sized pecker.
Note: As a married man who never strayed, I assure you that your girlfriend’s cousin is a liar.
2. If you were to acquire a dick pic from me, what would you do with it?
I’d definitely post it all over the internet.
3. How many usernames have you had on this website?
This is the one and only. Although I thought you banned me a few years ago for using the n-word.
4. What’s your favorite feature of this website?
I dont know; most of your features are shit. But I do like watching you desperately try to connect with a target audience that is 10 years younger than you. It’s fucking hilarious.
5. What do you want to be when you grow up?
Right now Im in my second year in medical school. Most of my classmates have no idea what they want to do after graduation, but I’ve already made up my mind.
I plan to become a gynecologist for the sole reason of giving me a chance to finger fuck your wife and future daughters. I’ll “accidentally” slip a finger up their ass and email you to let you know when it goes down.
6. If you could ban one user, who would it be and why?
I’d ban the both of us; we’re too old for this shit..