Community College Kids Make Terroristic Threats To School Because Tuition Is Too Damn High

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College is so expensive that when I was in fifth grade, my parents tried to get me to start playing basketball in a desperate attempt that one day I’d get a college athletic scholarship. It didn’t work.

As if college wasn’t stressful enough, adding the financial burden to the mix doesn’t make it easier. It straight up pushed one guy over the edge.


A Hudson County Community College student was arrested Thursday after threatening an employee over the status of his financial aid, authorities said. 

Well, that’s one way to do things, I guess. If this dude thought community college was expensive, wait until he sees how much REAL college costs. Community college is nothing more than a glorified sequel to high school.

Franklyn Diaz, 43, was charged with making a terroristic threat when Jersey City police made the arrest at the college’s Union City campus, Jersey City spokeswoman Kimberly Wallace-Scalcione said. 

Wait, this dude is 43 years old? That’s practically old enough to go order the senior citizen breakfast special at Denny’s. I’ve heard of fifth-year seniors, but this is an advanced fifth-year senior.

Authorities did not disclose what kind of a threat Diaz allegedly made.

I’m going to stop you there, chief. You don’t need to tell us “what kind” of a threat it was. If it’s a threat I’m just going to go ahead and assume it wasn’t something good. Maybe I’m wrong, maybe he threatened something positive, but probably not.

College is expensive. Still, threatening financial aid is not the answer. The best way to avoid the high cost of college: have a rich dad. That, or have a sugar mama, whatever floats your boat.


Image via Shutterstock

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Previously known for being the 4th best improv comedian in the state of New Jersey, he enjoyed a brief career in politics by serving on his fraternity's eboard until a scandal not as bad as the Lewinsky scandal, but more memorable than Whitewater lead to his resignation. Now, he spends his time making God awful jokes in chapter meetings, rooting for a shitty New Jersey hockey team, and serving on the congressional committee set to determine whether Oprah Winfrey should be classified as a cult or a religion.

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