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“Craft” Vodka Is The Newest Trend To Hit The Liquor Market

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%22Craft%22 Vodka Is The Newest Trend To Hit The Liquor Market

To put it bluntly, I hate hipsters. They’re an abomination of the millennial generation and are the reason everyone assumes we’re pretentious assholes. Buying local is a great thing. You can support your local economy and get some kick ass beer/food/etc you won’t find anywhere else. But buy the product because you enjoy it. Buying local for the sake of being different makes you the most annoying consumer known to man.

With a global rise in whiskey consumption, the vodka market has pretty much flattened out in comparison. When you break it down though, smaller “craft” distilleries are growing much more than big names like Absolut and Smirnoff. Companies looking to grow seek out the most effective marketing strategies, and with more millennials turning the ripe-old age of 21, the hottest marketing trend is to be local, unique, and craftsman-like. Case in point: Tito’s Vodka.

From Slate:

New Amsterdam doesn’t sell itself as particularly artisanal. But Tito’s does, with a label proudly proclaiming that it is “crafted in an old-fashioned pot-still by America’s original microdistillery.”

The wording has given them a bit of a headache with lawsuits that came about when customers discovered it was more a testament to the history of the drink instead of how it’s made today. Much like when a man sued MillerCoors for labeling Blue Moon beer as “artfully crafted,” I can’t help but bury my face into my palm over the blind stupidity of the consumer.

What’s especially frustrating in the case of Tito’s is that people actually expected a “craft” vodka. Craft beer is defined as being made by a small brewer with their own unique styles and recipes. Unlike beer which can be made with many different variations, spirits are all generally subjected to the same process. The only distinction between two vodkas is whether they have had flavor added to them. You’re kidding yourself if you think you’re going to be getting anything unique or distinguishable when you buy “craft” vodka. Don’t be a pretentious prick. Just buy the cheap big name stuff, it’s all the same, and it won’t matter when you puke it back up anyway.

[via Slate]

Image via YouTube

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Not So Sweetheart

The most rational, reasonable, and riotous girl you'll ever meet.

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