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CU-Boulder Fraternity On Social Probation Because Dave & Buster’s Can’t Hang

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When your company’s motto is “Eat. Drink. Play.” you better expect to have a run-in with a group of fraternity members at some point. Those are literally three of the four things that we enjoy doing on a daily basis. D&B’s could add in the fourth thing we love doing if they really want to see an increase in fraternity patronage as well as a boost in overall sales, but only in certain counties in rural Nevada, or if they open up an Amsterdam location.

Sure, they claim to be all about playing after drinking, but in reality, the Dave & Buster’s near the University of Colorado Boulder campus can’t hang — plain and simple. CU-Boulder’s Pi Kappa Phi chapter put them to the test, and they failed. Miserably.

As students return to the University of Colorado this month, one Boulder fraternity will be lying low as it serves out a social probation sanction handed down by the Interfraternity Council for the chapter’s behavior at a Dave and Buster’s in the spring.

The chapter, Pi Kappa Phi, held a spring function at the Dave and Buster’s restaurant and arcade in Westminster that led to some complaints. In an email to Chancellor Phil DiStefano’s office and to the Interfraternity Council’s Greek advocate, the general manager wrote that half of the fraternity members arrived at the venue drunk, and most did not have identification on them.

When you’re charging people out the wazoo for a watered down “X-Rated Passion Fruit Mega Mojito,” your venue will be pre-gamed. Deal with it. As far as the lack of IDs goes, that sounds about right. This is a fraternity. Over half the kids are underage. What did you expect? They’ve been around the block. They know that they’re not going to get served if they have evidence that they’re not 21, so why bring it with them? Might as well just say you’re 21 with conviction and hope for the best. The outcome could be the same as showing your real ID, but it certainly can’t be worse.

“We have found numerous empty liquor bottles throughout our building of product that we don’t serve,” wrote Jeff Mayger. “When my team members wouldn’t serve guests without identification or guests who were already intoxicated, the guests were belligerent and extremely rude.”

You don’t say. Now here’s the best part…

Mayger wrote in a follow-up email that one fraternity member was so drunk that he “urinated all over himself when my team asked him for identification.”

I would’ve killed to see that.

D&B team member: “Sir, can we please see your identification?”

PKP brother, slurring words: “I akshlly don’t ‘ave any, buh wait…”

*Pees pants*

“Okeh, I’m pee pants guy now. G’day occifer.”

I keep flip-flopping between this being an act of defiance and an act of total blackout, and I don’t think I’ll ever feel completely satisfied with whichever answer upon which I settle.

“We honestly had less problems with alcohol this past Saturday evening when we showed the UFC fight,” he wrote. “At this point in time I think it may be appropriate for you to find another location to host these events.”

Fraternity members are rowdier than UFC fans. We also smell better, have less glitter on our shirts, and, now, hang out at Dave & Buster’s less than them. I’d say we’re doing just fine.

You’re probably wondering how the fraternity was punished, besides their kindly issued lifetime ban from Dave & Buster’s. Here’s how it played out.

After holding a judicial hearing, the fraternity governing body mandated social probation for the chapter until December. The council also required all members to pay a $5 fine (about $980 total), hand-write and deliver a formal apology to the Dave and Buster’s staff and perform five hours of community service each.

Social probe, $5 of dad’s money, and 5 hours of cleaning up campus (done by proxy through your pledges). Luckily you’re in a fraternity and that triple punishment magically becomes a single punishment. Could’ve been worse. But, as always, not everyone was on board with the punishment.

At least 12 fraternity members dropped out after the chapter president asked them to sign a contract outlining “brotherhood standards.”

Classic. I can’t wait until these guys are off probation, as both someone who likes to see people have a good time, and someone who makes a living writing about hilarious stories like this one.

[via Colorado Daily]

Image via CU Pi Kapp

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Jared Borislow

Jared Borislow (né The DeVry Guy) is a Senior Writer for Grandex Inc and a 2015 graduate of the University of Wisconsin.

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