There are only so many “can’t miss must watch” guys in pro sports. I’m talking like Pedro Martinez is on the bump and you’re glued to every pitch. I’m talking Barry Bonds is at the dish and he could go wahoo at any moment. Tiger Woods on a Sunday back nine is easily in the pantheon of “can’t miss must watch,” and if you’re a golf guy? Gotta be at the top of the list.
LA Clippers head coach Doc Rivers — big golf guy, bee tee dubs — knows Tiger on a Sunday is can’t miss stuff. And it’s exactly why he tried to get ejected from a late-season Celtics game a number of years ago.
Any real golf fan has considered the possibility of cutting work when the Masters is on. And having to work on Masters Sunday—with Tiger in contention? Perish the thought.
So when Los Angeles Clippers head coach Doc Rivers says that he tried to get ejected from to watch Augusta’s back nine, we get it.
Rivers, a 10-handicap, recounts the story from a meaningless late-season game when he was coaching the Celtics:
“At halftime [Celtics GM] Danny Ainge tells me that Tiger’s making a run. He’s like, ‘get thrown out and come back and watch with me.’ It’s like the first play of third quarter, I got for it. Like, yelling ‘Ahh!'”
But the ruse didn’t work on the referee Rivers was berating.
“He just stares at me,” Rivers continues. “Nothing. And during a free throw he tells me to come over and he’s like, “I wanna watch it too.”
Is Danny Ainge the best boss of all-time? I mean, that’s the coolest thing anyone has ever done. Like, don’t worry, Doc. Pierce, KG, and Brian Scalabrine, they got this game in the bag. Dust it up with one of the stripes and come on back to my office and let’s crack a few coldies to watch Tiger fist pump his way to another Masters championship.
If this isn’t proof that Tiger moves the needle more than anyone in the sport of golf, you’re high. You think NBA general managers are begging their coaches to get thrown out of a game so they can sneak off and watch Justin Rose and Sergio Garcia go toe-to-toe in a Masters playoff? Fuckkk no.
I mean sure, that was cool and all, but you’re a looney tune from Moron Mountain if you think this scenario that Rivers is describing has ever played out because a golfer not named Eldrick Woods was making a run at Augusta. Tiger making a run on the back nine in the Masters is like if someone were to tell you the hottest girl from high school just starred in a porno and it just went viral. You drop everything and sprint to the nearest screen.
Also how about this ref just completely cucking Doc and Danny and all the fun they were going to have? What a boner kill. Must not’ve been Joey Crawford because that guy lives for throwing people out of games..
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