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It’s hard to get people excited about midterm elections. They aren’t as intense or flashy. They just aren’t as sexy–but how could they be without your Newt Gingriches and your Hillary Clintons? So, if you’re, say, the GOP, how do you make the midterm elections, and more importantly, donating to the GOP for the midterm elections, more appealing to the public? You offer a hot pair of George H.W. Bush signed socks in exchange for donations. That’s how.
Dammit, those socks are fantastic. I’m about to whip out my credit card and donate to a political party for the first time in my life, solely to snag a pair of those bad boys. Well, it would be the second time, but the first time was more like extortion. You can’t offer me slices of pizza for $2 when I’m drunkenly wandering home from Harpo’s and THEN tell me what it’s for, Green Party, you bastards. I had to burn a whole box of Styrofoam cups from my fraternity house’s kitchen before I even started to feel better about myself after that.
This sock move is genius. As TFM has documented many times before, Bush’s sock game is next level. He is, in fact, a self-described “sock man,” and is excited that the GOP wants to honor him (or “use” him, but whatever) in such a way.
“I’m proud to say the RNC has commissioned a limited-edition pair of socks in my honor,” Bush wrote in the email. “Embroidered with the Republican elephant and my signature on them, they’re sure to get you noticed.”
“They’re sure to get you noticed” is Bush’s old-fashioned way of saying his socks are going to make bitches thirsty. If you don’t think Barbara went from dust to mud after seeing those, you’re crazy.
These socks have me wondering how many ultra liberal hipsters will go after a pair of 41s. (We’re calling the socks 41s now, by the way.) Buying a pair of 41s would be a pretty hipster thing to do, as owning a delightfully colorful pair of limited edition socks made in honor of a Republican president hits basically every appeal point for a hipster. Ironic? Check. Offbeat? Check. Limited edition or hard to get? Check. Their friends probably didn’t hear about it? Check. You better believe hipsters would contribute (albeit fractionally) to a Planned Parenthood clinic getting closed down if it meant they received something deliciously cool and unique to lord over their friends in exchange. If this was Twitter, I would hashtag “Hipster Priorities” at the end of that rant. Please, God, let this be a moment that actually happens.
But enough reading about these socks. GO GET THEM NOW so you, too, can smugly show them off to your friends–just without being a hypocrite who looks like he stepped out of an H.G. Wells time machine and then got dragged off to Urban Outfitters for a modern makeover.
[via Business Insider]