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Drake Carelessly Tosses Aside Gigantic Stack Of Cash As He Pretends To Prepare To Fight

Alright, so apparently someone threw a punch at a member of Drake’s posse inside this club, which triggered the events leading to this incredible Vine’s existence. Let me just say, God bless Vine. There is not a more perfect medium for capturing and sharing 6-seconds of stupidity. You’re gonna have to give this one a few loops to really take it all in.

First off, Drake’s furious speed-walking game is on point. He storms into the club like an angry teenager that’s fighting with his mom storms out of a room. He’s going in, full steam ahead, just desperately hoping that someone will hold him back before any actual violence takes place. But just before he’s set to make his grand entrance and look like a total badass, he realizes that his punch-throwing abilities could be hindered by the gigantic stack of cash that he, for whatever reason, is just waltzing around with under his arm like it’s a loaf of fucking bread. “Oh yeah, I forgot about the $30,000 in cash I’m carrying like a girl carries a cute clutch. What shall I do with this paper that has inconvenienced me so?”

Does he turn around and hand it to a responsible member of his entourage? Does he stop and think, “Maybe pretending to be hard isn’t worth it, and I should just take this gigantic stack of cash and go eat some booty at a strip club?” Does he use the gigantic stack of cash as a weapon to defend his posse member’s honor by mercilessly beating his attacker with it? None of the above. He just carelessly throws it to the ground, because fuck money, right?

Then, the gigantic doorman, who is at least twice Drake’s size, puts forth literally the least amount of effort that I have ever seen put into anything into stopping Drake. And who is this bummy, fun-sized Dave Chapelle circa 2004 lookin’ motherfucker that follows Drake in and then turns around to ensure someone picks up the stack Drake just abandoned?

So many questions left unanswered. But here’s an awesome parody recap via Twitter.


[via TMZ]

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Ross Bolen

Ross Bolen is a New York Times Bestselling author, host of the Oysters, Clams & Cockles podcast, host of the Back Door Cover podcast, Rockets, Astros and Texans internet mascot, cheese enchilada aficionado, nap god, 2017 Masters attendee, and Editor-in-Chief of Grandex Media.

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