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Drunk Girl Tries To Use Slice Of Pizza To Get Into Bar, Is Denied, Then Slaps Bouncer

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Drunk girls gonna drunk girl.

From Fox News:

AMHERST, Mass. – Police in Massachusetts say a woman tried to use a slice of pizza as a form of identification to get into a college town bar and slapped the bouncer when he refused her entry.

Monkey Bar co-owner Rasif Rafiq tells The Boston Globe the apparent college student had attempted to hand the bar’s bouncer a slice of pizza she had purchased at a nearby shop as proof of her legal age last week. She allegedly became aggressive and a nearby police officer got involved.

Police say the woman was issued a trespass notice to stay away from the club.

I have to imagine it takes some real issues for a girl to not be allowed into a bar. This chick was either blacked out beyond comprehension, to the point where she kept dropping and picking up the slice of pizza as the bouncer was like, “Jesus, lady, just go home and go to bed.” Or, uh, she looked like the type of gal who actually bought an entire pizza for herself twenty minutes prior and was handing the bouncer the one leftover slice. Probably both. Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, missy.

Mostly surprised there wasn’t an HJ offer thrown in for good measure, though I do not think it would’ve helped. A squeezer from a drunk fat chick lubricated by pizza grease and sweat is a rock bottom I’d like to think most of us want to avoid hitting. Not that we necessarily will avoid it. We’d just like to, is all.

[via Fox News]

Image via Shutterstock

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The Therapist

Not a licensed therapist, but that doesn't stop me anyway.

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