What kind of snowflake culture PC schools are we turning into where a man can no longer burn a couch to the ground and toss it into a dumpster without getting his entire fraternity in trouble? I mean, come on. He was just sending the damn thing back to its natural habitat while teaching others about the dangers of forest fires (fun fact: only you can prevent them).
East Carolina University’s Sigma Phi Epsilon got their charter revoked recently for a little bit of hazing and just a few “risk management violations.” Real minor stuff, really.
A Sigma Phi Epsilon National Fraternity representative said multiple hazing and risk management violations occurred during the 2016-2017 academic year.
In a statement, strategic communications director Andrew Parrish said the violations included:
A party with another fraternity that required to [sic] the police to be called.
A keg that was thrown over the fence and damaged a vehicle.
Multiple occasions of burning furniture, including an instance in which a chapter member lit a couch on fire and threw it in a dumpster, causing the dumpster to catch fire and fire department to be called.
A charter member drinking on the house roof and throwing beer bottles at a house across the street, causing police to be called.
Oh, I’m sorry, because I’m supposed to look at who’s parked on the other side of the fence every single time I chuck a keg over it? It shouldn’t have been parked there. And who doesn’t enjoy a good couch fire from time to time? That’s a delicacy in some cultures.
The last one, chucking beer bottles at another house, is just guys being dudes. That’s how fraternities civilly settle disputes. You throw shit at each other from your houses until someone gets severely injured or the weakest frat taps out and calls the cops. Bitches.
A sad day for fraternity life in America. One day, society will wake up and realize burning a couch and tossing it into a dumpster is just good, clean fun. Until then, we’ll have to live with these horrible rules and find other, non-arson-related ways of displaying our manliness. Stay strong out there, my fraternity peeps..
Image via Facebook/ECU SigEp