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Entourage Movie Greenlit, Ari Gold Returns

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It came out late Tuesday night that the long-awaited Entourage movie had finally been greenlit by Warner Bros. and douchebags and GDIs everywhere celebrated in anticipation of seeing what the latest in jersey, jean shorts and matching flat bill fashion will be showcased by Jerry Ferrara in the movie.

Show creator Doug Ellin has signed on to write and direct the film. Plot details are thin right now, but I have a pretty decent idea of how it’s going to go…

We’ll probably start out in some exotic tropical locale, where Drama and Turtle are making out with models on the beach and drinking. Vince is proclaiming his love to his new wife in a dialogue that will make everyone yearn for mopey season two I’m-in-love-with-Mandy-Moore Vince. Eric, meanwhile, is back at the hotel on the phone with Sloan, and she’s mad at E for jetting off to Mexico with the boys for the weekend. Suddenly, Ari beeps in on E and Sloan’s phone call. Ari hurls insults at E for six minutes before finally telling him that Ben Affleck wants Vince to star in his upcoming Boston crime drama. Vince is married now, and there’s a sex scene that his wife doesn’t like, and now there’s turmoil between Vince and E and E and Ari and Drama’s still looking for work at 45 and Turtle is still wondering why his barbershop/strip club never took off. They will somehow fill two hours with that plot line.

Entourage really got stale in it’s last three seasons, and I’m not entirely sure why a movie is necessary, except to clean up the ridiculous loose ends that they created in the final season like E and Sloan’s baby, Ari quitting the agency but then getting offered a studio head job, why the hell Vince got married to Alice Eve, and why Turtle hadn’t been killed off two seasons earlier. The eighth season of Entourage was a sloppy mess of awful storylines and terrible plots, even though Ari squaring off with Bobby Flay was probably one of the best moments of the series.

There’s really only one reason to get excited about this movie, and that’s Ari Gold. There‘s no doubt that Ari Gold is one of the top 10 TV characters ever created and Jeremy Piven is just a treat in that role. Hopefully, Ari has patched things up with Mrs. Ari and is back to his wheeling and dealing ways in Hollywood and GOD I HOPE DANA GORDON FINALLY GETS NAKED.

My hopes aren’t high for this movie at all, because if it’s anything like the final three seasons of Entourage, it’s going to be the worst movie of all-time.

[via Entertainment Weekly]


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The Champions Tour is a writer for Total Frat Move and Post Grad Problems. If you don't know who he is, just ask your older sister about him.

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