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FAIL FRIDAY: Closing Out 2012

This is a recurring TFM series. Catch up with all installments of Fail Friday by visiting the archive.

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Ten real submissions, 19 photos, and two videos that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.

Slowly developing with a lack of proper diet and exercise. TotalFatMove.

That is correct. That is how fat develops.

Storing a large volume of a liquid. TVatM.

Indeed, a vat can store large volumes of liquid.

Being perpindicular to longitude. TLatM.

Latitude and longitude are quite perpendicular to each other.

Being the opposite of gloss. TMatteM.

Yep, they’re pretty much opposites.

Courting Heidi Montag in order to monetize your relationship on television. TotalPrattMove.

Spencer Pratt did that.

YOLNT (You Only Live Nine Times). TotalCatMove.

Catwoman yelled “YOLNT!” in The Dark Knight Rises.

Sneaking around and stealing people’s cheese. TotalRatMove.

Rats are sneaky cheese lovers.

Leaving an everlasting impression on a person’s body. TotalTatMove.

But is it a frat tat?

Sitting under people’s doors saying welcome. TotalMatMove.

Gotta love those mats.

Sticking your fingers in her ears so she can’t hear you while you plow her from behind and call her by another girl’s name until you’re about to blowzonga all over her sculpted ass parts and you pull your fingers out of her ears but huge balls of ear wax are stuck to the tips so you bail and fuck her sister. TFM.

Finally, a Total Frat Move to end the year on.

Keep that left leg locked out, you fucking rookie.

Nobody said rush boobs had to be human.

This kid is way too happy about his loser buddy yacking on himself.

Never a bad time for some OJ.

That big dumbass bird is ashamed to be in this photo with those cowgirls.

Having to cut your leg off because you got stuck backwards on the shitter. TFTC.

This pledge couldn’t handle his first party.

That’s how much one Jets fan has to drink to get through a game.

Gotta get there somehow, even if its a reach-around.

That is an oddly neat pile of puke.

The wizard on the left is casting a super gay spell.

It’s all fun and games until Papa Smurf finishes on your face.

Explanations for this photo: 0.

Do not. Fuck. With this guy.

When you’ve done this so many times that you know how to get comfy.

Catching a pledge mid-stream pissing on his own bed.

Guy on the left is looking a little old to be a pledge.

If anyone in the entire world is in the friend zone, it’s this guy.

He’s like a hose…

SnapChat Rap:

The Worst Music Video Ever Made:

The ultimate chaser, to wash away a year’s worth of failure:

Two chapters from the TOTAL FRAT MOVE book are online now, read them NOW.

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