FAIL FRIDAY: It’s a Sickness

This is a recurring TFM series. Catch up with all installments of Fail Friday by visiting the archive.

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Ten real submissions, four photos, and one video that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.

The only ab workout I do is constipation. TFM.

You need to include more Natural Light in your diet. You’ll be shitting liquid in no time.

Slampiece licked my butthole while I ate her out last night. When we kissed after she told me it tasted like freedom and “Siggarettes”. TFM.

You two make such a cute couple.

Enjoying my concussion because I get drunk easier. TFM.

The blatant disregard for personal wellbeing continues to concern me.

Putting bologne in the microwave then putting it between the mattresses and fucking it. TFM.

I think the deli meat you were looking to fuck is “bologna.”

Bringing a girl back from the bars after telling her you’ll pay for a taxi after sex, then ordering a taxi telling her it will be paid for with a credit card so that when then the taxi arrives she’s waiting outside your inside naked contemplating if you should have worn a rubber. TFM.

I think that is considered a run-on sentence.

While teaching my pre-frosh younger brothers how to shotgun a beer, the knife I was using went all the way through the can, and stabbed my hand to the point where I was bleeding pretty badly, but I said, “Fuck it” and shotgunned it anyway. TFTC.

“Here guys I’ll show you how to do it because I’m cool and old. (STAB) I need a ride to the emergency room.”

Fuck a studded condom. I got genital warts for a reason. TFM.
–North Carolina


Woke up naked with dip spit on my balls. TFTC.

How’d you get dip spit on your balls? Your pledge brother did what?

Pulling a Dick Cheney at the shooting range rush event, just to remind the kid he hasn’t got a bid yet. TFM.
–Virginia Tech

Apparently Virginia Tech has moved on and now they’re making gun violence jokes.

I spy a paddle.


Pile driving a pledge brother. NF.

Sweet baby Jesus…


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TFM Intern

Never getting promoted.

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