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FAIL FRIDAY: It’s a Sickness

This is a recurring TFM series. Catch up with all installments of Fail Friday by visiting the archive.

Ten real submissions, four photos, and one video that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.

The only ab workout I do is constipation. TFM.
–Arizona

You need to include more Natural Light in your diet. You’ll be shitting liquid in no time.

Slampiece licked my butthole while I ate her out last night. When we kissed after she told me it tasted like freedom and “Siggarettes”. TFM.
–Louisiana

You two make such a cute couple.

Enjoying my concussion because I get drunk easier. TFM.
–Alabama

The blatant disregard for personal wellbeing continues to concern me.

Putting bologne in the microwave then putting it between the mattresses and fucking it. TFM.
–Tennessee

I think the deli meat you were looking to fuck is “bologna.”

Bringing a girl back from the bars after telling her you’ll pay for a taxi after sex, then ordering a taxi telling her it will be paid for with a credit card so that when then the taxi arrives she’s waiting outside your inside naked contemplating if you should have worn a rubber. TFM.
–Arizona

I think that is considered a run-on sentence.

While teaching my pre-frosh younger brothers how to shotgun a beer, the knife I was using went all the way through the can, and stabbed my hand to the point where I was bleeding pretty badly, but I said, “Fuck it” and shotgunned it anyway. TFTC.
–Connecticut

“Here guys I’ll show you how to do it because I’m cool and old. (STAB) I need a ride to the emergency room.”

Fuck a studded condom. I got genital warts for a reason. TFM.
–North Carolina

Lovely.

Woke up naked with dip spit on my balls. TFTC.
–Texas

How’d you get dip spit on your balls? Your pledge brother did what?

Pulling a Dick Cheney at the shooting range rush event, just to remind the kid he hasn’t got a bid yet. TFM.
–Virginia Tech

Apparently Virginia Tech has moved on and now they’re making gun violence jokes.


I spy a paddle.


SOCKS?!?


Pile driving a pledge brother. NF.


Sweet baby Jesus…

GAINESVILLE STAND UP!

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