Ten real submissions, four photos, and two videos that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.
Showed up to my Aunt Susan’s funeral in a seersucker suit with a 3.2 BAC. At least that’s what they told me in county the next morning. TFM.
This is what Aunt Susan would’ve wanted.
Broad asked me if I wanted sunblock, I told her I only use S-P-Frat. TFM.
I bet she blew you on the spot, you clever meathead.
Just bought a belly putter, still have a six pack. TFM.
Everyone hates you and your family is ashamed.
Wearing my Peyton Manning jersey for the last time. RIP.
He’s not dead, and this isn’t a goddamn online journal.
I might wear a medium golf glove, but you can bet your sweet ass I wear Magnum condoms. ThorsecockM.
It’s been months since someone pulled a total horsecock move.
Was creep grinding on this bitch’s leg when her boyfriend blindsided me in the face. Bitches love black eyes. #SB2012. TFM.
Creep grinding is frat as fuck.
I call my dick and balls SEAL Team 3, and I send them in to assassinate the puss. TFM.
Who takes point? Lefty, Righty, or Captain Winkie?
Herpes Pledge has to walk around campus with a can of peas. When asked why he responds with, “Because she gave me her peas.” TFM.
This warrants a sarcastic slow clap.
I went soft inside of her. She said, “Hahaha TFM.”
Great work champ.
Bros, babes, brews, butts, balloons, binging, banging, bronzing, COCAINE. TFM.
Who else thinks there’s heroin in the ballons and still wants to go on Spring Break with this guy?
This is what happens when you commit to the sunglass tan.
“What bro? It’s just for fun. You’re so judgmental.”
Cool back goatee.
I can’t pick something to comment on.
Call Me Maybe:
This chaser will help: