NEW TFM Videos Section

Watch thousands of hilarious videos from college campuses across the country.

Watch Now

Federal Judge Tells New American Citizens Not To Partake In Lame Protests At Swearing In Ceremony

======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== ======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ====


I’m not familiar with the swearing in ceremony for immigrants who become official U.S. citizens. I became a citizen like most of you. I was born here and, after my parents answered what they assure me is the doctor’s standard, “It’s got both, you want me to lop this off or sew that up?” question, they put me down on paper and made me official.

But apparently there might be a “Judge’s Wisdom” section of the ceremony? Where the judge overseeing the swearing in of the world’s newest winners imparts some advice to the freshly minted Americans? That strikes me as pretty standard. What might not be as common is the judge giving advice to our newest citizens that comes off as cynical. Though, to be fair, given the current social climate in America, I can’t say I don’t appreciate this San Antonio judge’s advice to people he had just made great.

From KHOU:

Donald Trump’s election looms over a U.S. citizenship ceremony in San Antonio, as the judge presiding over the ceremony says if you don’t like that Trump will be president, go to another country.

“I can assure you that whether you voted for him or you did not vote for him, if you are a citizen of the United States, he is your president,” Judge John Primomo said. “He will be your president and if you do not like that, you need to go to another country.”

He went on to criticize Americans protestors who carry signs saying ‘He’s not my president,’ including some in San Antonio. Primomo lashed out against NFL players who take a knee during the national anthem.

“I detest that, because you can protest things that happen in this country; you have every right to,” Judge Primomo said. “You don’t do that by offending national symbols like the national anthem and the flag of the United States.”

That’s mostly pretty solid advice. I would have added, “Also, your Facebook posts count for dick. You contribute absolutely nothing of worth to society by posting your opinions on social media. You will have made no positive difference by doing that. Go vote. You don’t like shit? Go vote. You really don’t like shit? Get involved, donate money, and also go vote. Pissing on the flag and yelling in the street also almost always counts for dick. Go vote. That’s worked for 200-plus years. Writing a paragraph about your feelings to get likes from your friends has worked for zero years, zero months, zero days, zero hours, etc. you get the point. Go vote. Welcome to America. We have Budweiser, lemonade, and hamburgers waiting for you outside. And please resist the urge to become a Yankees or Patriots fan. We know it sounds like the right thing to do, but just don’t. It’s not.”

The second best part of this whole story is that the judge didn’t even vote for Trump. He just hates dumbass protests, which as far as I’m concerned is an apolitical stance.

Primomo later told KENS 5 that he meant his words to be unifying and respectful of the office of the president, not political. He said that he didn’t vote for Donald Trump.

The best part, though, of course and as always, was how the new Americans felt upon becoming citizens.

“The essence of Americans is that you have the right to vote and choose [who] to represent you,” said Rafael Guerra, a new American born in Mexico.

In an election where women played such a pivotal role, Indian immigrant and new American Vharati Dharwadkar said that women have it better in the U.S. than in her native India.

“The freedom and the importance that ladies get in this country is independence,” Dharwadkar said. “She can freely say whatever she has to say. I feel free in this country compared to my country.”

Iraqi native Mohammed Al Farradh said that America is still is a beacon of hope for many.

“It is exciting to be an American. I believe that America is bigger than whoever is in office,” Farradh said.

Excuse me, I’m going to go find the nearest waving American flag and cry under it for a while.

[via KHOU]

Email this to a friend

10 Comments You must log in to comment, or create an account
Show Comments

Download Our App

Take TFM with you. Get

The Feed