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Today, I learned the World Cup is this year. I also learned that Americans seem to be pretty damn interested in soccer all of a sudden. This summer, hundreds of thousands of obese, foreign tourists plan to go to Brazil to watch the World Cup–and as with everything else, America is blowing loads on the rest of the world.
One of my favorite parts of being an American is watching us kick the world’s ass in shit that the majority of the country has very little interest in. A recent poll from January showed that soccer was not even listed in the top seven most popular sports in America.
With that said, FIFA released its statistics on the number of tickets sold by country for the World Cup. Surprisingly, so far, Americans have bought nearly four times the amount of tickets than the nation in second place. While Brazil receives 65 percent of the tickets since it is the host nation, Americans have purchased 28 percent of the tickets sold to foreigners.
The top four nations include the United States, Australia, England, and Colombia.
1. United States: 154,412 tickets
2. Australia: 40,681 tickets
3. England: 38,043 tickets
4. Colombia: 33,126 tickets
While I don’t really know much about soccer or the World Cup, I imagine American fans will pack the stadiums, further thrusting our incredibly large dick deep into South America. If there isn’t a roaring “U-S-A” chant on international television–even when Ghana blows us out–I will be severely disappointed.
Image via 2014 FIFA World Cup Brazil