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Florida Has A Phone Number Students Can Call If They’re #Triggered By Halloween Costumes

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Remember when you would see someone doing something mildly shitty but ultimately not harmful in any tangible way and you just thought to yourself, “Huh, that guy’s kind of a dick, isn’t he? Guess I won’t hang around him too much.”? Did that… God was that ever actually even a thing? It feels like someone else’s memory at this point. Like an alternate reality you accidentally have memories of because you got electrocuted after wandering into a power plant while on acid. If this were a movie my friends would’ve found me naked, shivering and crying, as I shouted, “It was so real, you have to believe me,” and they tried to shake some sense into me, pleading, “Rob you sound crazy, we gotta get out of here, she’s dead.”

Whether or not that was ever a reality is pretty much beside the point though, because we’re here now and the scariest — and by scary I of course mean most triggering, not spookiest — holiday of the year is upon us: Halloween (alternate title: All Triggers’ Eve). Thanks to some cases legitimate racism, but mostly a combination of the general, but harmless, tactlessness of half of college kids, and the lust for woke RTs drive to achieve social justice from the other half, we now have shit like this press release from the University of Florida.

October brings fall weather and Halloween. If you choose to participate in Halloween activities, we encourage you to think about your choices of costumes and themes. Some Halloween costumes reinforce stereotypes of particular races, genders, cultures, or religions. Regardless of intent, these costumes can perpetuate negative stereotypes, causing harm and offense to groups of people. Also, keep in mind that social media posts can have a long-term impact on your personal and professional reputation.

The release isn’t wrong. Blackface, for example, is obviously a real bad look with a real crappy history. Still, I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that an artsy LGBT student subversively dressed as a pedophile Catholic priest (I urge everyone to wear mildly offensive costumes and then try out the, “No, it’s a commentary on offensive costumes,” explanation when confronted) wouldn’t exactly garner the same campus or community (or, if someone hits the woke RT lottery, national!) outrage as a frat guy lazily donning a sombrero he got from a Chili’s on his birthday because he couldn’t be bothered to think of anything else to wear.

My favorite part of that segment of the release, though, is the last sentence, wherein the University of Florida, presumably to look out for their students’ best interests (aww), reminds them that wearing potentially offensive costumes and posting pictures of them on social media could mess up their lives. How thoughtful! In the interest of total honesty, though, they should probably add that, “While we discourage students from posting pictures of themselves in potentially but likely subjectively offensive costumes on social media, so as to not possibly damage their personal and professional futures, we also will do absolutely nothing to prevent or discourage other students from posting images of you, without your permission, to their own social media accounts, while also accusing you of pretty much whatever they feel like to their followers and the world at large. And rest assured, should these images become highly publicized and your name and personal information also become public, we will also do absolutely nothing to protect you or to discipline the student who posted your image without permission. Fair warning!”

They could’ve shoved it in right before this tidbit below, though to be fair, it’d probably send a mixed message.

As a community, we aspire to demonstrate integrity, respect, and compassion

I won’t publicize the hotline here, but follow the hyperlink and you can find it.

So everyone get ready for our nation’s most offensive holiday, at least until they rename Thanksgiving “American Genocide Remembrance Day” and we all have to apologize for our bountiful meal on social media before eating and, ironically, watching the Redskins play the Cowboys once every couple of years.

[via Gator Times]

Image via Shutterstock

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