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Florida Man Spends 90 Days In Jail After Cops Mistake Drywall For Cocaine

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From NY Daily News:

A Florida man was jailed for 90 days after cops had suspected he had cocaine in his vehicle, which turned out to be white powdered drywall.

Cops initially pulled over Karlos Cashe, of Oviedo, for driving without headlights in March, WFTV-TV reported.

Cashe – who was on probation for marijuana and cocaine charges stemming from a 2015 arrest – thought cops had stopped him for a traffic violation.

An officer found white powder on his seat and floorboard, and when the substance was tested, the results came back positive for cocaine, authorities said.

“I know for a fact that it’s drywall because I’m a handyman,” Cashe told the TV station.

A K-9 unit on the scene detected what was believed to be more cocaine and marijuana in the vehicle.

He was then booked at Seminole County Jail and held without bond after more tests resulted positive for the drugs.

Lab results on the substances found in Cashe’s car came back negative for cocaine 90 days later.

“I sat there 90 days knowing I was innocent,” he said.

Okay, normally I would go off about how dickhead these cops are but our boy Karlos was on probation for cocaine-related charges so they weren’t totally coming out of left field THIS TIME. Gotta give them a little leniency on initial glance. But that is where my generosity ends. From there on, they totally screwed the pooch.

There are so many unanswered questions here.

First off, how accurate are cocaine tests? Like in the field, does any white powder automatically just count as cocaine? It certainly seems that way. I’ve learned from watching enough Cops that if it turns blue, it’s definitely coke. But how accurate is that test?

Also, I thought these crime dogs were supposed to be top-notch? These are the guys we are trusting to keep bombs off of airplanes and they can’t even identify a little coke? That’s a major fucking problem.

The only reasonable explanation I can spin is that these dogs are actually too good at their job. We have to assume that Mr. Cashe, given his prior charges, has probably definitely done cocaine/marijuana in that car before. These dogs are so good that they can detect remnants of that shit from months back. If that’s the case then I’m going to have to buy a new backpack before the next time I fly.

However, this is when it gets dicey. The cops vaguely describe that “more tests” were done and that’s how they firmly concluded our man Karlos was guilty. But 90 days later, here we are without any cocaine at all. What tests did they do? Someone’s got some splainin’ to do. Like the sorority next door, this story has a lot of holes that need filling.

I’m not one to cry out profiling but Karlos definitely has a case here. Either that or Oviedo, Florida has some real incompetent cops, which is definitely a possibility (not to profile). Either way, our man Mr. Cashe stands to make a lot of cash. Yeah that was dad joke af. Deal with it. Can’t wait to see how much coke Karlos buys with that lawsuit money.

Also, I can’t wait for the first high school student to cite this column when the drug dog sniffs out his locker. Watch him try to refute the dog’s credibility by explaining that the smell is actually from weed that the kid who resided there last year had. He will totally be in the clear. You’re welcome.

[via NY Daily News]

Image via Shutterstock

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Dent is a washed up former athlete who swears he's totally over his ex-girlfriend. One of these days he'll get around to applying to a real job, but until then he'll keep pumping out lackluster articles while downing copious amounts of Natty Light.

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