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Flying Poop and Poop in Film

Look, I don’t know what a “UTA” is, but I do respect the Sigma Chi President denying the fuck out of the so called “incident.” While details are sketchy, we know that at some point someone dooked on some aluminum foil. This is where it gets weird. An unknown dook bandit, one who apparently had a laser-rocket arm, fired the fecal ball through the window of the Alpha Chi Omega house. Was the window open? We don’t know. All we know is that someone took the time to take some foil, squat over it, lay some kind of mud monster, then ball it up into what was probably a hilariously comical poo ball. In honor of this all time shitty guy, here’s a look at 5 classic shit scenes:

Billy Madison

Inspired a generation in so many ways. Some might question Billy for wearing shorts with construction boots or for stealing his shirts from Frank. I’ll give him a pass for having a manageable alcohol problem and for paying his way through school. Although I only saw one person actually stomp out the flaming bag of poop, there was something hilarious about leaving char marks on the doorsteps of neighborhood cocksuckers.

Caddyshack

I’ll start by saying that if you don’t like this movie then fuck you. It had Chevy Chase, a nice set of breasticles, and Bill Murray eating a candy bar that looked like a turd.

Dumb and Dumber

We’ve all been there. Whether it’s the Kung Pao at PF Chang’s or the cup of coffee the night after a bender, everyone has been close to a premature eruption. Jeff Daniels brilliantly portrays the perils of a man who is dangerously close to flaming a hole through his underpants. Everyone knows a guy who hasn’t quite made it to the porcelain and was forced to dispose of his boxer shorts in a trashcan.

Kingpin

Probably the Farrelly brothers second best movie. Admit it, everything after Me, Myself, and Irene sucked a crank. Unlike more traditional shit scenes, the Farrelly brothers don’t force the shit scene upon the viewer. The buildup is perfect, much like the buildup of Adderall, red bull, and Chipotle during finals.

Jurassic Park

Look, we all know that T-Rex doesn’t want to be fed. He wants to hunt. T-Rex makes the list because it’s the alpha male of the dinosaurs, and it gets style points for going after the lawyer taking a post grad professional dump. People like to rag on lawyers, but there’s nothing funny about having a man-dump interrupted by a T-Rex in the middle of a tropical storm.

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