If there were ever a “Hazing” category on Jeopardy, “What are Weighted, Lap-Hopping Wall Sits” would be the correct response to the answer, “This unholy hazing technique is the best way to obliterate a pledge’s weak, worthless pelvis and sometimes results in pancaked testicles.”
If this is what Louisiana-Lafayette does to their football team, I assume Nick Saban is out there somewhere in the Alabama heat forcing Crimson Tide players to fight anti-social horses to the death with their bare hands. At least Jim Harbaugh would offer all his players a deep, thorough thigh massage afterwards… from himself personally. “C’mon. We’re buddies. Just guys doing sports, man. Now get those shorts off and let’s talk about barbecue and hardware stores while I rub ya’ down.”
Gotta love offseason workouts lol pic.twitter.com/NhmxAlQA0y
— Ethan Rosenbalm (@Cajun_73) June 6, 2016
Meanwhile, if a picture leaked of a pledge voluntarily carrying a piece of paper for an active, whatever chapter they were from would be immediately suspended while multiple entities investigated the incident and at least two editorials calling for the disbanding of Greek life would be published in the school newspaper.
Thank you sports, for keeping hazing fun.