Cleveland has suddenly become a hotbed for sports. The Johnny Football train parked there in early May, and King James recently made his way home. This town hasn’t been this excited for sports since Willie Mays Hayes scored on Jake Taylor’s bunt. Many people are excited that their city now has two of the most talked about athletes in ESPN history representing them–in fact, Johnny himself even tweeted he was excited for LeBron, saying he was “his guy.”
Not everyone seems to watch ESPN–or TV for that matter–because in a recent interview with New York Magazine, former Bills wide receiver Andre Reed had this to say about Manziel :
“Who the fuck is Johnny Manziel?” Reed asked. “LeBron ain’t your guy! You’re not ‘Johnny Football.’ You’re ‘Johnny Rookie Bitch.’ ”
First things first, I have a hard time believing Reed doesn’t know who Manziel is, or that he’s known to schmooze with some other standout athletes. Reed does have a point, though. Manziel was a hero in college, but now he’s playing with the big boys and his past doesn’t mean shit. It’s just that “Johnny Rookie Bitch” doesn’t seem as if it would really resonate with fans, and, frankly, it doesn’t really roll off the tongue that well.
I’m here to help you out, Andre Reed. Here are a few nicknames you can call Johnny that will catch on with fans outside of Cleveland:
Johnny Cleveland Steamer
Johnny Baby Arm Manziel
Johnny Vienna Sausage Manziel
Johnny You’re Not The Man-ziel
And if he gets clocked by an outside linebacker, you can call him Johnny Vegetable.
[via NY Mag]