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Former Detroit Lions Cornerback Shot While Nakedly Attempting To Break Into A House

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So I was going through my Facebook feed yesterday and I see some weird, clickbait “dumb criminal” posting. It was a blurb from the local evening news about a guy who shot a naked man that tried to break into his house in Portland’s swanky West Hills and then left him for dead out back in a water feature.

I laughed and said to myself, “Damn, he must have been on a lot of drugs. That or the homeless problem in Portland has gotten a lot worse than anyone expected.”

Last weekend, I took one homeless guy up on an offer to “kick me in the junk for $5” that was crudely scrawled on a cardboard sign, so the begging money must be getting tight. I guessed naked robbery wasn’t too far off for the desperate and sexually depraved bums of our era.

But a few minutes ago, I’m back on Facebook and see an update to the story: turns out the naked man was none other than former Detroit Lions cornerback Stanley Wilson II.

From NBC Sports:

According to KGW in Portland, Wilson was naked and trying to break into a home when he was shot by the homeowner.

Wilson has been charged with first- and second-degree attempted burglary and first- and second-degree trespassing. More charges could be coming.

Some of your dads might remember Wilson’s father as being famous for missing Super Bowl XXIII after he was found in a hotel bathroom with cocaine and drug paraphernalia.

Jesus. Something must run in that family.

[via NBC Sports]

Image via Shutterstock

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Doctor Franzia

*Not qualified to practice medicine*

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