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Frat Essentials: Graduating

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As we enter the fall semester, many seniors are beginning to realize the harsh reality that their college days will soon be over. Meanwhile, many men in fraternities are realizing that they are going to be having a blast making a shit ton of money in the corporate world. It is well known that being Greek gives you an advantage quite like any other in this country. A group that represents less than 5% of the U.S. population, Greeks account for 43 members of the current Senate, 36% of the House of Representatives, 43 heads of the 50 largest corporations, 40 out of 47 Supreme Court Justices, and 63% of U.S. Cabinet members since 1990. I could continue this list for the rest of the column, but I think you get the point. Greeks are the movers and shakers of this country, and it is because we know that there is much more to college than the grades you make. However, a select group of individuals haven’t quite realized that you DO have to make those grades. You know the people I’m talking about, the guys who have decided that they might try and ride out this college experience as long as possible. I know college is fun, but seriously, GRADUATE ALREADY.

So you decided to redshirt your first season? No big deal. Listen, I am not harping on all of you fifth year seniors. You just like to party. I tip my hat to all of you for contributing to my delinquency as a freshman. The fact of the matter is that while it’s important to have the time of your life in college, it’s equally important that you graduate. If you really think your letters are going to somehow magically erase the extra four years you needed to get that political science degree, you might be a politician one day, but it sure as hell won’t be because of your merit.

Consider this as well, you know all of those homeless people that everyone can’t stand because of their freeloading tendencies? All they care about is getting some extra coin for that brand new bottle of fortified wine. They’re awful right? So is mooching off of your parents because you can’t seem to put down the bottle long enough to make money of your own. If you can’t see what I’m getting at, you’re probably just another vagabond in gentleman’s clothing. There is nothing awesome about bumming money from your parents for longer than necessary.

I’m sure some of you are still probably still thinking, “Fuck this guy, who would ever want to leave college?” There is a solution for this yearning for a few more years. Grad school. The amazing thing about undergrad is if you manage to do well, some unfortunate professors are going to have to deal with you for another few years while you pursue a professional degree. I won’t lie, I put off a lot of my scholastic obligations in my underclassman days, but if you can swing grad school you’ll be better in the long run.

Partying is awesome, and those of us in fraternities know how to do it better than anyone else. But there is something to be said for being better than the average student in all fields. My point for you to understand is that you need to make something of yourself in order for your letters to carry value in post-college reality. If you manage to rage AND study like a fucking pro, the rest of the pieces will fall in place.


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Grandex Marketing Manager, Snack Enthusiast, Lover, Gator. Co-Host of the Inside TFM Podcast.

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