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FratPAC Leader Drops Sick, Awesome Burn On Bloomberg, Media In General

The FratPAC, or Fraternity and Sorority Political Action Committee, has been receiving a lot of negative press lately, specifically for opposing a hazing reform bill that has been in the works for some time. Naturally, the media saw a Greek Life special interest group opposing a hazing reform bill and, without really doing any research on the matter whatsoever, immediately began shouting OMG GREEKS WANT TO HAZE AND KILL AND DRINK THROUGH THEIR ASSHOLES WITH NO REGARD FOR THE CONSEQUENCES BECAUSE WHIIIIIIITTTTTTTEEEEEEE PRIVELEGEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jezebel does some real thorough reporting, you guys. So too, does Bloomberg. I’m still being sarcastic, by the way.

So, everyone was up in arms because the FratPAC opposed a hazing bill that was started by the mother of a kid who died tragically because of hazing. Why? Because if you don’t support something that was created by the victim of tragedy then, CLEARLY you’re a terrible person/group of people. Never mind that the FratPAC’s main concern with the bill was that it would basically only target kids on financial aid, by stripping them of that aid should they be found guilty of hazing by, uh, someone, it was not really clear who (their school or the law). While the bill’s heart is in the right place — none of you idiots should be murdering each other just to let someone join your fraternity, no matter how many OTPHJs your members average per night on the dance floor — it wasn’t all that well thought out, and the FratPAC had quite a few problems with it. The FratPAC isn’t opposed to hazing reform; they’d just like that reform to, you know, make sense.

“NO MATTER!” cried the totally unbiased and not-at-all slutting for pageviews media, as they reconvened their anti-Greek circle jerk. “We know all you really want to do is spank each other and count your money until all the 18-year-olds in the room die of alcohol poisoning!”

The president of the Fraternity and Sorority Political Action Committee, Cindy Stellhorn, had a message for the media, and Bloomberg in particular, and that message was awesome.

We all know that media coverage of fraternities often relies on use of sensationalist narratives and clichés because a balanced examination of the issues requires more work for the reporter. We think the Bloomberg News articles this week were slanted and unfair, especially the article regarding the FGRC’s role in potential for federal hazing legislation. Rather than let the facts dictate the story, the Bloomberg reporter had a slant and omitted all facts that ran contrary to that viewpoint.

If this were that shitty Wilmer Valderrama show, Yo Mama, right now everyone would be jumping around screaming, “OHHHHHHHH,” as Wilmer put one hand over his mouth and the other on Cindy Stellhorn’s shoulder and kept repeating, “No! No! No you didn’t! No you didn’t!”

“We all know that media coverage of fraternities relies on use of sensationalist narratives and clichés because balanced examination of the issues requires more work for the reporter.” Goddammit that’s beautiful. Well done, Cindy. You are a champion.

You can see the full statement here, on the FratPAC’s Facebook page (which I recommend you all go and like).

[via Facebook]


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