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Girls Tell All: What’s The Best Pickup Line You’ve Ever Heard?

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Girls Tell All

To supplement the most recent Girls Tell All which asked 16 girls for the worst pickup lines they’ve ever heard, we’re back to bring you the opposite end of the spectrum. This week, the girls reveal the best come-on attempts they’ve experienced.

Ladies, what’s the best pickup line that’s ever been used on you?

“The only thing I want between our relationship is latex.” That was a pretty good one. – Kellie Stritz

“I’m a virgin.” I love a good challenge. – Ali Hinman

I don’t think I’ve ever had a guy use a “good” pickup line. If you’re a good conversationalist, that’s really all you need. – Rachel Page

I am a huge fan of cheesy pickup lines, so if you tell me one I haven’t heard before, I’ll probably at least be intrigued. “Are you a sea lion? Because I sea you lion in my bed later.” And “Are you my appendix? Because I don’t understand what you do, and this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out.” I’ve heard those a few times since, and they were best the first time. – PlattyBlonde

At the risk of sounding like a Tinder-hoe, I’m going to admit the best pickup line I’ve ever received was on a purely appearance-based hookup app. I’m not afraid to admit I’m probably the pickiest person in the world when it comes to Tinder. If you’re not a hard ten on the hot scale then you better have an out of this world pickup line, because if you don’t? I’m probably scrolling past you so I have time to get to the rest of my two hundred and forty seven matches. The best line I received wasn’t really a line per se, but more a story of sorts. It went like this — “Wow, aren’t you a gal I’d love to have hot sex with in the stall of a bowling alley bathroom. There’s a lot I like about you, your opening line, getting straight to the point, I’m a fan. Trust me, I’m a man of fantasy. I notice you’re a girl from Pennsylvania, I’m not the biggest fan of Yuppies… Y’all suck at anything southern; like cornhole, or shotgunning beers, but I can work with you. Spend a weekend with my buddies & I, and you’ll be burning enough cigarettes to be placed on the organ donors list. You ask for a fantasy? Well I’ll give you one. I’ll be over at my ex-girlfriends house, ragging on her new boyfriend and trying to get him to fight me in the side yard. She’ll threaten to call the cops so I’ll go ahead and give your ass a call. You’ll come grab me from her middle class suburbia home, and upon first glance, you’ll notice I reek of cigarettes, and I’m still wearing my work shirt from Eddies Pawn Palace. I’ll come out and toss a beer can at your windshield, and then climb in the bed of your pickup. (If you don’t have a pickup truck, go buy one). You’ll take me to my motel, and I’ll realize I left my keys at the bar last night, so I’ll use my boot to slam down my door so I can change and get freshened up. You’ll come inside and watch me change out of a work shirt just to put on a new work shirt, that’s twice as dirty, and that looks like I’ve used it as an oil rag a time or two, because I have. My jeans will have enough holes in them so you can see a fair amount of my legs and testicles, which will turn you on slightly. You’ll drive us to the date bc my truck go repoed recently. Your mind will be racing, wondering what kind’ve guy I am, and where we’re headed. I’ll tell you the only thing you need to know about me is I got kicked out of Boy Scouts for giving my troop leader a shiner, and I can kill a 30 pack of beer before most men can kill one beer. You’ll start telling me about yourself and I’ll turn up the radio and pretend I can’t hear We’ll go down to a place that you’re pretty sure is abandoned, but sure enough, there’s a group of guys who are on my laser tag team in there sucking heads off of mud bugs and drinking cheap lagers. I’ll ignore you the entire time and then make you pay for our 13 pounds of crawfish. We’ll be walking out and I’ll be so drunk you have to carry my corpse to the truck. We’ll start heading home and I’ll make every attempt to jerk the steering wheel out of your hand. We’ll barely screech into the motel and I’ll invite you inside. You’ll come inside and experience the most drunk, awkward, and disappointing 30 seconds of sexual intercourse in your life, and I’ll end up releasing a load of my kids on your stomach, and pass out into a drunken coma until 4 pm the next afternoon, and then have no memory of even meeting you.” — Guess who caught my attention. – Blonde_boozy

Puppies. Get a dog and you’ll pull mad bitches. Literally, girls will just come to you. You don’t even have to do anything, and when she comes up to pet the dog, you automatically have something to talk about. Anytime I see a guy with a dog, my puppy-loving brain automatically registers him as 1-2 degrees hotter than he actually is in real life. Don’t use cheesy pickup lines to try and get a girl’s attention, just get a puppy. Or ask if you can buy me a drink. Either works 99 percent of the time. – Cristina Montemayor

“Hi.” That’s it. Out of every god awful pick-up line out there, the only thing that doesn’t make me want to automatically punch you is if you just say hello. Like a normal human. Is that too much to ask? – PSLsandPearls

“You come here often?” It worked. Don’t ask me how. – Shannon Layne

A simple “Hey” works best for me. Anything else feels too contrived or practiced. If I can give you guys any advice, it would be “try less”… when it comes to pickup lines, anyway. – 2NOTbrokegirls

The best pickup line is no pickup line. Unless it’s intentionally funny or a joke, pickup lines are lame and make me judge you. Honestly, just starting a conversation off with “Hi, *insert genuine compliment*.\” is the best way to approach a girl. Girls love compliments, so if you say something sweet and honest, she’ll feel flattered and automatically want to continue talking to you. – ChampagneShowers

The best pick up lines aren’t lines at all – they’re this thing called “real conversation.” Be confident, take initiative, and come up and fucking talk to me. Oh, and for Christ’s sake, just be normal. Girls like normal. – Drunk but not in love

“You have a magnificent hindquarters.” I think I was too impressed by his drunken (yet extensive) vocabulary to be offended. – Lucky Jo

“Fuck you.” And then, he did do just that. #Romance – Rachel Varina

This guy found out I was a history major and then asked me who my favorite president was. We had the same one, which worked highly in his favor. I also used to talk to a guy who would yell my name at parties and then when I would come over to see what he wanted, he would tell me we were getting out of there. Weird, but it seemed to work. – Anonymous

“Buttstuff?” – Blue-eyed-blondie

In college I worked at a tanning salon and would get spray tans all the time. FYI they make you smell weird until you can shower, and I went to the bar a few hours after getting one and this guy standing next to me ordering a drink turned to me and was like “do you smell that? Is that you? Why do you smell like shit?” It wasn’t exactly a pick up line but long story short we ended up dating for over a year. Seriously. – Kayla Haby

You heard it here first, folks. Just ask for butt stuff or tell her she smells like shit and she’s all yours.

Check out the previous Girls Tell All topics:

Thoughts On Manscaping

What Makes You Attracted To A Guy?

What Makes A Guy Unattractive?

Are You Looking For A Bad Boy?

What Causes You To Friend Zone A Guy?

What’s Your Favorite Thing About Frat Guys?

What’s Your Least Favorite Thing About Frat Guys?

What Hints Do Guys Never Pick Up On?

Does Size Matter?

What Do You Wish More Guys Would Do In Bed?

What’s The Worst Pickup Line You’ve Ever Heard?

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Jared Borislow

Jared Borislow (né The DeVry Guy) is a Senior Writer for Grandex Inc and a 2015 graduate of the University of Wisconsin.

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